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%DOUBLE BINDS-3 790419
One factor which causes double binds to be so
binding --- is the fact that collusions lead us to be
unaware that double binds exist as conditions in which
humans can find themselves. By our collusions we are led
to think that double binds can not exist, they are
unthinkable, the name "collusion" points to nothing we can
see --- if we know the name. Our parents, churches, and
schools do not teach us to recognize double binds; and
their failures make us more vulnerable to the double binds
into which they place us in their efforts to control us in
response to their promptings of "love". We can not cope
meaningfully with realities which we can not be aware of.
Many double binds arise from categorical imperatives
which command us to do certain prescribed (conventional)
tasks as reactions to specified situations. To respond
personally to a situation is not acceptable, and people
who do respond personally rather than legalistically are
not accepted; they are excommunicated. When contradictory
categorical imperatives impinge upon a person with
conflicting threats of excommunications---the person
experiences a double bind. Excommunication can not be
avoided while living only within conventional patterns of
behavior. To avoid excommunication the person must
transcend the conventional patterns of behavior which the
categorical imperatives seek to affirm. Love commands
such transcendence rather than obedience to the
categorical imperatives to conform to conventional
expectations. Through love's transcendence of
conventional categorical imperatives (to fulfill
traditional expectations) excommunication may be avoided.
Such transcendence by love will usually offend the
defenders of the status quo who are threatened by new
beings who are born anew through love rather than law.
The law of love guides people to help each other be
free of double binds---by being sensitive to people's need
to be in unconditional dialogue. The threat which binds
in double binds is the threat of making dialogue
conditional; i.e, the threat of excommunication. Removing
that threat robs double binds of their power to destroy
people through conventional expectations and demands. Thus
Love works to reveal the destructive nature of that
threat, and of the people who threaten to or (actually
make) dialogue conditional.
(c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty
(On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)
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