This-essay is a7711052.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %EXCLUSIVE ACCEPTANCE 771105 Often our childhoods have been the training grounds for exclusive acceptance. We have learned that as a rule that acceptance is exclusive --- according to certain rules of acceptability--rules which make us unacceptable to virtually everybody. Our lives then become the search for just the right person who in some mysterious way will find us acceptable, and vice versa. We may have internalized the conviction that there is just one such person who is right for us --- and it is ultimately important to us to recognize that one person when we meet, and to make the recognition mutual. This is a difficult task; since we find ourselves unacceptable to virtually everybody---revealing ourselves is a risky business, and so revealing ourselves to the person who is right for us involves the risk of revealing ourselves to all those people who will find us unacceptable. But, how else can we find the right person for us --- who will find us acceptable. In despair of finding the right person for us --- we tend to try to make ourselves acceptable to the many persons who do not find us to be acceptable as we are. We become not-ourselves in order that we may accepted and then convince ourselves that we have found the person who is right for us--proved by the fact that they have accepted us. Having won acceptance as not-ourselves, we find ourselves in the trap of having to continue to be not-our self, perhaps within a relationship of contractual mutual self-deception called marriage--where we are required to exclusively accept each other as the only person who is right for us. The game of mutual self deception then becomes a legal requirement which can end only in a legal way. The system of exclusive acceptance is very supportive of technocrats who seek to manipulate people into conformity with codes of proper conduct. When personal acceptance is a precious commodity, virtually everybody can be coerced into some as the price to be paid for acceptance. If acceptance were free and unconditional, how could you ever get people to behave properly? The precarious system of controls which makes modern civilization possible would break down --- if everybody loved each other unconditionally. We must be careful about whom we love, and whom we let love us, and whom we let love each other. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================
Lines beginning with a percent sign are KEYWORDS for use in ESSAY-System Searches. Their terminal digits are dates of writing in the format @yymmdd#, where @ = a means 99, @ = b means 20, and # = is a within-date essay-count. Links to date-adjacent essays are near page top & bottom.
Find the following links by clicking on CENTER when CENTER near the top or bottom of a web page of essayz.com 1. Go to HOME PAGE of essayz.com 2. Find brief-essays via keywords 3. Find brief-essay about ADDICTION 4. Search-Helps related to ABOVE-LINK 5. GoTo Action & Information Center 6. Find Regular-Essays via Year/Month 7. Find Regular-Essays via Word-Starts 8. Find Regular-Essay about LOVE
This-essay is a7711052.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. These 5 lines echo top lines. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One