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%UNION REPRESENTATION 770714
The spokesperson for a union does not speak for
individual members of the union, but for the whole. This
is true in labor unions and in other unions of large
numbers of individuals. It may also be helpfully true of
unions of three, where three persons develop two or three
intimacies of two. For a person who is a member of two
intimacies of two to represent each of the two intimate-
others to the other intimate-other as an individual---may
on occasion cause problems of violation of privacy, as
well as of misrepresentation. It may be more helpful for
such a dual intimate person to speak from within the union
without making distinctions as to where within the union
specific ideas, insights, thoughts, feelings, opinions
originate; avoiding attribution and not necessarily
claiming unanimous support, except upon agreement that
such representation be made.
Intimacies of three are difficult to sustain because
of their inherent greater complexity, and because of the
lack of supportive traditions and role models. Members of
such an intimacy will experience difficulties in
developing mutually satisfactory self-images and realms of
privacy. Genuine intimacies raise the sensitivities to
cross-cultural conflicts with all their hidden dangers---
where they are least expected. Those difficulties need
not undermine the satisfactions and fulfillments of
intimacies of three---even though they may increase the
suffering experienced therein. The meaning of intimacy is
undermined if individual differences as wiped out, thus no
member of an intimacy should be permitted to lose their
individual identity or all their privacy. Without privacy
there can be no sustained individual identity, and so no
unique individual contribution to the union.
Much that is traditionally private may be shared
within an intimacy, for within an intimacy deeper levels
of personhood which become the new foci of privacy---the
deepest known aspects of self still being private so that
they may develop in security before being vulnerable to
transformation by sharing. Privacy must be assured for
the deepest aspects of self as they emerge, while older
foci of privacy may be freely shared within an appropriate
intimacy.
(c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
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(On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)
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