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%FOCUS UPON RELATIONSHIPS 970720
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Personal and communal integrity are essential to each
other and to human health, fulfillment and meaning. All
five realities are mutually interdependent. No one of the
five can be sacrificed to promote another one in a
coherent way.
To cope wisely with imperfections in humans and human
communities we must focus upon human relationships --- at
least as much as upon human individuals and their
behaviors. We are the products of our relationships ---
at least as much as we are the creators of our
relationships.
Human relationships cannot be understood or improved
in the absence of the participants understanding each
other's experiences of the relationships which they
jointly participate in. Such mutual understanding is part
of every integrative, healthy, fulfilling and meaningful
relationships. Such mutual understanding is thus as
reflexive as it is objective; for such understanding
reflects back upon the participants and their
relationships --- in ways which cannot be understood by
non-participants who are detached from the relationships.
Alienation plays a central role in imperfections
within: humans, human behaviors, human relationships and
human understanding. Alienation pertains to
communications which are: broken, confused, perverted,
abused, misunderstood, coercive and violent. Alienation
is relational. Alienation pertains to communication. Two
or more participants are involved in every occasion of
alienation. It is dishonest to pretend otherwise.
To contribute positively to personal and communal
integrity; and so to human health, meaning and
fulfillment, we must deal openly and honestly with the
imperfections in our relationships and communications; and
so with our involvement in our relational imperfections.
If we do not do so; we augment our alienation,
imperfections, and disintegration.
If we focus inadequately upon relationships we are
likely to sacrifice the integrity of our relationships and
communications to idols preoccupied with who is:
better/worse, good/evil, right/wrong, saved/damned,
acceptable/rejectable, lovable/hate-able, etc. We are
likely to be involved in alienative relationships which
engender personal and communal disintegration, disease,
frustration, and hopelessness.
(c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
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(On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)
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