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%TRUSTWORTHY ADULT PARENT GUIDANCE WARNING PROHIBIT+970327
%TABOO SILENCE SEXUALITY PLEASURE RISK VULNERABLE+970327
%AUTHORITY EXPERIMENT UNRELIABLE MANIPULATE COERCE+970327
%ALIENATION SEPARATION FRAGMENT TEACH DISHONEST SIN 970327
One of the most critical decisions made by young
people is the decision as to whether their parent(s) or
guardians(s) is trustworthy; worthy of respect. The
decision is made based upon young people's experience in
regards to how open and honest their elders are regarding
the nature of and the grounds for rules, regulations,
prohibitions, prescriptions, proscriptions, warnings, etc.
Young people are bound to check out rules,
regulations, prohibitions, prescriptions, proscriptions,
warnings, etc. --- for authenticity. Young people are
experimentalists, wanting to know if they can trust
their elders. They are skilled at detecting sham,
deception, dishonesty, and any lack of integrity. They
are bound to make decisions as to whether their
parent(s) or guardian(s) are trustworthy, worthy of
respect, based upon their findings and conclusions
regarding how open and honest their elders are.
When elders do not talk openly and honestly about
human sexuality with its pleasures, fulfillments,
vulnerability, risks, and consequences --- young people
are likely to perform their own experimental procedures
to learn what they can on their own --- and so check out
the tacit signals which their elders are sending without
integrity. There is a fairly high probability that the
young people will come to the conclusion that their elders
do not merit full respect and trust. The young people
will then be unable to benefit fully from any prudent
advice which their elders may offer about other risks and
hazards in life regarding drugs, driving, addiction,
dropping out of school, work opportunities, etc.
It is very risky for parents to make mistakes which
lead their children to draw the conclusion that they, the
elders, are being dishonest and lack integrity. Young
people are looking for people whom they can trust --- and
if they find that they cannot trust their elders, they
will most likely seek others who are more like themselves
and whom they feel are more trust-worthy. That can be a
dangerous business! Parents are foolish to encourage
their children to get into that business.
(c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty
(On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)
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