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 %POSSIBLE FORMS KINDS RISKS FALLING LOVE ADDICTION+970326
%TRUST PROTECT TRAGEDY MISTAKES ABUSE CONFUSION SIN+970326
%IGNORANCE INTOLERANCE CONTROLLER CODEPENDENCE EVIL 970326

     Young lovers need to know about the risks of  falling
in  love.     The risks entailed are not evident to  young
lovers.  What are the risks?

     Is love so good that there are no risks in  attending
to the call  of love?   If God is love what are the risks?
Doesn't  love  protect lovers against tragedy,   mistakes,
abuse,  confusion,  ignorance,  intolerance,  controllers,
etc?  Isn't it enough to be sincere and well intentioned?

     Intimacy  and   love  entail  the  risks   of   being
vulnerable.  There is  no  true  intimacy  in love without
being  vulnerable.    It  is  risky  to  be  vulnerable---
especially with  people  who  are  in  conflict internally
and/or  externally;     who are unreliable  because  their
behavior  depends   upon   the   current  state  of    the
internal  and/or external conflicts.

     True security  is known as the freedom to  be  safely
vulnerable---which is rarely possible with people whom you
have  not  yet observed in a wide range of  circumstances.
Some  people are very good at putting on appearances.   We
cannot   learn  whether  or not they merit our  trust  ---
until  we  have  observed  them in many  situations  where
their  masks might slip.

     Some  people are out to find imprudent "lovers"   who
are   willing   to  be vulnerable to them  ---   and  take
imprudent  risks  which  are likely to   lead   to   their
integrity being violated.

     People who  show  little interest  or  concern  about
personal  and  communal integrity are not worthy  of  high
level of trust.  Falling in love with them is falling into
trouble---or worse.   People who are willing  to sacrifice
honesty  to  gain some personal advantage ---  are  likely
to   sacrifice  you  to  gain  some  personal   advantage.
Beware!

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
  www.essayz.com       Search for Integrity and Honesty        
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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