This-essay is a8604081.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %RISKING NON-SELF CENTERED INTEGRITY RELATIONSHIPS 860408 Many human problems are self centered, centered in a self who is pre-occupied with self and self's "rights". Jack may have a problem which is self centered. Jack's problem is that he thinks he has a right to prevent Jill from doing things which cause Jack to be ill at ease. Jack thinks that his rights are more important than Jill's rights; beyond question. Jack makes others think that his rights always are more important than Jill's rights and that nobody should question his right to own and keep his emotional problem with Jill's behavior which causes Jack discomfort. Jack makes it look like the problem is that Jill is violating legitimate taboo/prohibitions. Jack gets others to view Jill as if it is Jill who is doing violence to communal integrity. Jill is seeking to make new connections between ideas, visions, values, ideals and people. That which is new is threatening to Jack. Jack can not with ease consider that which is genuinely new; it makes him be ill at ease, makes him uncomfortable. Jack believes he has a right to be comfortable; to not be made uncomfortable by other people's new ideas, visions, values, ideals and friendships. Jack believes his right to be comfortable is greater than Jill's right to engage in integrative behavior which makes him feel uncomfortable. Thus Jack makes his disintegrative behavior to appear to be more legitimate than Jill's integrative behavior. Jack gets others to support him in his disintegrative behavior, in the name of protecting the security of the community. Jack's behavior is not coherent. Unlike Jack, Jill is willing to take the risk of engaging in integrative behavior which makes her vulnerable to new possibilities. Jill is working for the reconciliation and conciliation of that which is separated. Jack is working to avoid the threat of reconciliation and conciliation of that which is separated. Jack seeks to maintain his isolated tranquility. Jill seeks to discover security within honest intimate relationships which involve vulnerability within the safety of integrative relationships and processes. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================
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