This-essay is   a8507201.htm   which is available  at the
web-site   www.essayz.com.   See more notes at the bottom.
Previous-Essay      <== This-Essay ==>     Following-Essay
By-Months                By-Years                 By-Words
Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One
==========================================================
                     %VIOLENCE IN INTIMATE CONTEXTS 850720

     Sometimes  people behave violently in contexts  where
one would normally anticipate intimate behavior.

     People  often seek intimacy and personal  acceptance,
but do not anticipate the level of vulnerability which  is
associated    with   genuine   intimacy   and   meaningful
acceptance.   There may be a reaction of resentment and  a
sudden  welling  up  of fear upon becoming  aware  of  the
dangers  of letting go and losing personal control  within
intimate  contexts.   A  fear of vulnerability leads to  a
sense  of insecurity and a reaction by which an effort  is
made to achieve security through clutching at violence  in
defensive  gestures which are not thoughtful responses  to
the possibilities of the situation.   Such a reaction show
a  lack of the knowledge of security as the freedom to  be
vulnerable,   knowledge  in the sense of familiarity  with
security as the freedom to be vulnerable.

     The  tendency to behave violently within contexts  of
vulnerability  is augmented by people who promote a  sense
of responsibility for always being in control, defensively
"secure", disciplined, etc.   That sense of responsibility
comes to haunt the person in search of meaningful security
within intimate contexts which involve in an essential way
mutual   vulnerability,    openness  and  honesty.     The
responsibility  calls  the  haunted person  to  repent  of
yielding  to the temptation to be meaningfully  vulnerable
within an intimate context.  Guilt sets in and the haunted
person   may   lash  out  in  self  defense  against   the
accusations  of  the  ghost by being violent  towards  the
nearest  available  target,   perhaps one whom  they  were
tempted   to love in violation of the responsibility never
to be vulnerable.  In this way "good"  people may suddenly
and inexplicably become violent.  Their violence is rooted
in their evil sense of responsibility that they must never
be  caught  being vulnerable.   If the fulfillment  of  an
ideal essentially requires alienation, the ideal is evil.

     Vulnerability  and  intimacy are essential  to  human
communities,   they  need  to be positively  accepted  and
affirmed within appropriate contexts.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
  www.essayz.com       Search for Integrity and Honesty        
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
==========================================================

Lines beginning with a percent sign are  KEYWORDS  for use
in ESSAY-System Searches.  Their terminal digits are dates
of writing in the format @yymmdd#, where @ =  a  means 99,
@ =  b  means 20, and # = is a within-date essay-count.

Links to date-adjacent essays are near  page top & bottom.

   
Find the following links by clicking on CENTER when CENTER
near  the top or bottom  of a web page of essayz.com
 
                    
               1. Go to HOME PAGE of essayz.com
            2. Find brief-essays via keywords
           3. Find brief-essay about ADDICTION
          4. Search-Helps related to ABOVE-LINK
 
            5. GoTo Action & Information Center
           6. Find Regular-Essays via Year/Month
          7. Find Regular-Essays via Word-Starts
              8. Find Regular-Essay about LOVE

This-essay is   a8507201.htm   which is available  at the
web-site   www.essayz.com.  These 5 lines echo top lines.
Previous-Essay      <== This-Essay ==>     Following-Essay
By-Months                By-Years                 By-Words
Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One