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%AFFECTION AS IMPORTANT OR OPTIONAL 801005
To many people affection is optional; they do not
regard affectional relationships as essential. How often
is it said that people have a right to affection? How
often are people's rights to communicate their affection
affirmed? How often are expressions of affection in
public perceived as "inappropriate"?
To require that expressions of affection take place
in private is to say some powerful things about affection.
Even more is said when covert messages say that it is
improper for some people to express mutual affection even
in private. It is as if one had to obtain permission to
express affection, affection being something which was so
dangerous that it must be institutionally regulated. Or,
perhaps it is something which is so dangerous that people
must be institutionally trained to handle it safely. In
any case it is not to be expressed spontaneously, honestly
and freely.
Those who would control expressions of affection may
regard it as very important; important and dangerous. It
may be important to regulate affection so that everything
may be done in an orderly way according to the rules and
regulations. Then it is possible to know who is
acceptable, by noting which people conform to rules of
acceptability. Expressions of spontaneous affection are
prone to upset such means to stability and security in the
social order. Since maintaining the social order is of
greatest importance, it is important that people not be
free to express their affections without restraint. Thus
expression of freely felt affection is regarded as
optional and/or dangerous, not as essential to social
order and stability.
How strange it is that emotional security which is
associated with uninhibited expression of affection is---
not perceived as the foundation for social order and
tranquility! It is assumed that the expression of
affection can not contribute to a sense of and an
occasioning of real security. It is assumed that security
is achieved through objective manipulative means, not
affective expressions. It is assumed that objectivity is
essential and important, affection is optional and
unimportant---or dangerous!
(c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty
(On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)
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