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%KINDS OF HONESTY 800103
There are various kinds of both, honesty and dis-
honesty. Time and energy does not permit telling/revealing
all that is true. To fail to tell all is not necessarily
dishonest, but to tell in ways which are intentionally
misleading may be a kind of dishonesty. Silence speaks
when expectations create meaningful contexts in which
silence has meaning. If context creates an expectation of
openness; silence may be a kind of dishonesty, and to be
fully honest one must be free to be safely open.
There are times when the choice of truth to present
may be misleading. That which is said/written may be
literally true, but the timing of its presentation may
convey misleading impressions. The meaning of a
communication is created by its context, as much as by its
symbolic content. Symbols have meanings only in context;
it is dishonest to use symbols which have an honest
meaning in one context within a context which gives them a
misleading meaning.
Human communications have meanings at various levels;
e.g., cognitive and emotional. A communication may be
honest at one level and dishonest at another level. Often
cognitive honesty is combined with emotional dishonesty,
or perhaps cognitive openness with emotional withdrawal.
For dialogue to be honest the participants must not
be mislead and must no be creating contexts in which
dishonesty is perceived as an effective coping technique.
The person who helps to create the climate in which
dishonesty is a "useful" coping technique is just as
responsible for the dishonesty as is the person who offers
misleading communications. People who forbid desires,
opinions, insights, views, perceptions, images, feelings,
emotions, etc.---are in large part responsible for the
dishonesty of the people who mislead as a result of such a
personally violent context; for violent contexts breed
misleading communications, dishonesty. Dialogue which is
not free to be safely open tends to be misleading, and so
imperfect dialogue. In extreme cases communication
becomes a game which people play to please each other and
avoid each other's violence.
In the absence of a desire to be open with other
persons---dialogue is not likely to be honest. The roots
of honest dialogue are nurtured by the desires of Love.
(c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
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(On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)
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