This-essay is a7911083.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %MEANINGFUL PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS 791108 Jill is worried about the possibility that the quality of her relationship with Jack will decline. She fears that if she is not sufficiently concerned about working to maintain the quality of the relationship it may decline and then she will feel guilty for not having been sufficiently concerned to take the steps which were necessary to maintain the quality of the relationship. Jill has gotten the impression that the quality of human relationships tend to decline with time; that relationships are most vital and satisfying in the early period of their life. She fears that it is inevitable that relationships fade, and that she will feel guilty for not succeeding in keeping her relationship with Jack as vital as it was in the beginning. The fear motivates her to wonder if it would be wisest to end the relationship in order that it might be remembered as a vital relationship, rather than as one which went down hill. Jack yearns for the early vitality of his relationship with Jill. Yet, he knows that to fixate upon the early phase of the relationship will kill it. Any deliberate effort to achieve the vitality which characterized the spontaneous early aspects of the relationship will undermine the spontaneity which was the source of that vitality. Not even a cooperative deliberate effort between Jack and Jill can achieve the early spontaneity in a way which will retrieve the pleasures which flowed from it. Jack and Jill have grown together through their relationship. Any effort to capture and keep the pleasures of that growth process will tend to inhibit further growth and the pleasures which further growth might offer to them. To live and enjoy life they must continue to grow through the power of Love who casts out fear and guilt. Love renews rather than recalls. Guilt is based upon recollection, and upon the anticipation of recollection. Meaningful personal relationships are not the fruits of reflective guilt of fear occasioned by anticipatory guilt. Meaningful personal relationships are the fruits of growing together in spontaneous ways which transcend systematic planning and striving. Participants in meaningful personal relationships are created by the growing relationship, just as they nurture the relationship by giving themselves to it. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================
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