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%DESIRE FOR OTHERS 790911
Jack desires that Jill be fulfilled by the
fulfillment of the desires he has chosen for her. Jill
desires to be herself and to be fulfilled by the
fulfillment of her own desires---which are not the same as
the ones which Jack has chosen for her to have. Jill
experiences Jack's desires for her as a violation of her
integrity---for Jack's desires for her do not respect her
own desires. Jack's desire is not that Jill's desires be
fulfilled, but that Jack's desires for Jill be fulfilled
to satisfy Jack's desires. Jack does not get fulfillment
out of the fulfillment of Jill's own desires---but out of
JIll's fulfillment of the desires that Jack introjects
into Jill. Jack will not let Jill be herself with her own
desires. Jill refuses to be Jack's Jill---and seeks to be
herself. Jack resents Jill's refusal to be fulfilled in
the way Jack has chosen for her to fulfill himself. Jack
feels that Jill does not love him because she will not
give him what he most desires---her fulfillment according
to his conditions.
Jack desires the best for Jill. Jack loves Jill and
wants Jill to be fulfilled. Jack knows what is best for
Jill. Jack chooses the best for Jill and seeks to give
her the best possible desires. Jack seeks to fulfill for
Jill the best possible desires she can have. Jill is
unappreciative of his efforts on her behalf. Jack does
not understand why Jill does not appreciate his efforts to
give to her and fulfill the best possible desires that she
could possibly have.
Jack suspects that his techniques are inadequate.
Jack seeks to improve the techniques he follows in his
efforts to fulfill his desires which he has given to Jill.
Jill does not understand what Jack is trying to do. His
efforts do not make sense. Jill can not understand what
desires Jack has that prompt him to behave in such strange
ways. She can not imagine that Jack presumes to give her
desires and then fulfill those desires in order to fulfill
himself without regard for her own unique desires.
Jack regards Jill as an extension of himself. Jill
does not regard herself as an extension of Jack, nor Jack
as an extension of herself. Jack and Jill lack mutual
awareness and mutual understanding because they are not in
open dialogue.
(c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty
(On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)
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