This-essay is a7904233.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %LOVE DESIRES RESPONSIBLE-2+790423 %MUTUAL SHARE ENJOY JACK-2+790423 %PROVIDE NEEDS AFFIRM-2 790423 When Jill shares her felt needs with Jack she is seeking to enjoy his affirmation of her needs, more than seeking provision for the fulfillment of them. To become entangled in the practicalities of making provision for the fulfillment of her needs would undermine her immediate need to have her felt needs affirmed. In a sense Jill needs to have her felt needs affirmed by Jack more than she need to have Jack provide for the fulfillment of her felt needs. For Jill to speak to the question of how Jack can act to provide for meeting her needs would get in the way of Jack's simple affirmation of Jill's needs, and get him preoccupied with how to provide for fulfilling Jill's felt needs---but not fulfilling her need to have her felt needs affirmed---independently of fulfilling them. Thus Jill with good reason does not speak to the practicalities of acting to fulfill her felt needs. Jack feels a responsibility to act to fulfill Jill's felt needs. Jack is threatened when Jill expresses felt needs which he sees no way to act to fulfill. Jack is particularly threatened when Jill persists in expressing felt needs which she knows Jack can not act to fulfill. Such persistent expressions of felt needs appear to Jack to be demands by Jill that he take extreme measures to find ways to fulfill her needs. Repeated expressions of felt needs which he cannot meet are perceived by Jack as challenges to his ability to provide, threats to his capability to love---for to Jack to love is to provide. Jack perceives Jill as challenging him to prove that he loves her by acting in extreme ways to provide for meeting her needs---through behavior which is resource consumptive, extreme, dangerous, unreasonable, etc. Jill's persistent presentations of her desires are seen as manipulative, and possibly as violent. If Jack responds to Jill's expressed needs as a provider---he becomes a victim of her "violence" and tends to violate natural resources, financial resources, ecological systems, social conventions, reasonable expectations, etc. When Jack and Jill can not perceive each other's most basic assumptions about human relationships---they can not understand each other's needs, expressions, and ways of responding to situations. Resource consumptive compensations often result from such lacks in honest mutual perceptions and sharing. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================
Lines beginning with a percent sign are KEYWORDS for use in ESSAY-System Searches. Their terminal digits are dates of writing in the format @yymmdd#, where @ = a means 99, @ = b means 20, and # = is a within-date essay-count. Links to date-adjacent essays are near page top & bottom.
Find the following links by clicking on CENTER when CENTER near the top or bottom of a web page of essayz.com 1. Go to HOME PAGE of essayz.com 2. Find brief-essays via keywords 3. Find brief-essay about ADDICTION 4. Search-Helps related to ABOVE-LINK 5. GoTo Action & Information Center 6. Find Regular-Essays via Year/Month 7. Find Regular-Essays via Word-Starts 8. Find Regular-Essay about LOVE
This-essay is a7904233.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. These 5 lines echo top lines. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One