This-essay is a7902051.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %YEARNING FOR DESIRE 790205 Jill yearns for Jack's desire, wishing that Jack desired her more humanely than he appears to. Jill would be affirmed by Jack's desire, almost as much as by Jack's fulfillment of his desire for her. Jill would be completed by Jack's desire made evident. Jill is not fulfilled by the repression of Jack's desires. Jack's repressed desires do not fulfill Jill, even though they may express themselves in perverse ways. Perverse expressions of repressed desires do not fulfill Jill's yearning for Jack's desires. For Jack's desires to fulfill Jill them must not be compulsively repressed; but then they need not all be actualized in publicly evident behavior to fulfill Jill. Jack fears to let go and release his desires from repression. Jack fears that lacking repression his desires will lead to action which will be excessively costly to him and/or Jill. Jack does not trust his arational instincts to behave in a loving way in fulfilling himself and Jill through the experience of his desires and of Jill's desires. Jack feels that he must keep his desires under strict control; rational-legalistic-prescriptive control. He does not trust what is most deeply himself. He has been trained to trust only that which comes from outside himself. He does not trust his personal feelings, desires, instincts, and intuitions about what will promote his integrity and the integrity of relationships with Jill. Jack is not free to experience his deepest desires, much less share them honestly and spontaneously with Jill. He fears that such experience and sharing will in some compulsive way lead to destructive actions which are contrary to wisdom. So, he compulsively represses his desires and leaves Jill unfulfilled in her yearning for his desires. Jack and Jill need to come to mutual awareness and mutual understanding about their yearnings and desires, and their potentialities within their social context. Their fulfillment may come through such awareness and understanding of their potentialities within their actual context, and what they can realize therein. Jill can not command Jack to desire in a way which will fulfill her. We can not helpfully impose upon others responsibilities to desire. Desires can not be wisely generated through moralistic, legalistic, religious or any other form of requirement. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================
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