This-essay is a7901131.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %BEING ALONE OR SOCIABLE NEEDS 790113 We need to be alone sometimes, and sociable other times. To always be one way or the other tends to be unhealthy. We need to respect others' right to be alone when they need to be alone, just as we need them to respect our right to be alone when we need to be alone. We all need to have our need to be alone recognized without having to make a big deal of it by having to verbalize our need. Body language can convey the need if we are sensitive to each other. We can be "alone" when we are in the same house (and even the same room) if our need to be "alone" is respected by others being comfortable in our presence without intruding into our physical, auditory, or psychic space; without making demands upon us through body language, behavior, or verbal communications. We can be comfortable while being alone with each other; present but not making explicit or implicit demands upon each other. Our need to be sociable does not grant us the right to demand that others be sociable upon our demand. Sociability may be invited, not commanded. When sociability is commanded, people play games which are dishonest. At some level they resent the command, and resent the game. Playing the game of being sociable is not the same as being sociable. The need, invitation, and/or command to be sociable may be conveyed through body language, behavior, or verbal communications. The more sensitive we are to each other the less overt and explicit communications may be with power. Our sensitivity to each other's needs may be obscured by rituals/traditions of time, place, occasion, etc. Compulsions about such rituals/traditions may blind us to personal human needs which do not conform to rituals and traditions. In such instances we need to decide if we are "for rituals and traditions" more than we are "for persons". Our rituals and traditions can flow from our creativity in meeting human need, rather than human needs be defined in terms of existing rituals and traditions. We are most likely to meet each other's needs to be alone and sociable if we are familiar with love---than if we know each other in terms of legalistic imperatives. It is more helpful to be open to each other in need, than to be knowledgeable about and dedicated to ideals, principles, laws, regulations, rituals, and traditions. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================
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