This-essay is a7901102.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %OPENING CLOSED DOORS 790110 It is not helpful to push somebody up against a closed door because you would like for them to go through the door. They may not want to go through the door only because it is closed for them, even though it may appear open to you. They must perceive that the door is open before they will be willing to try to go through it. When the door is open they may perceive that it would be risky to enter the room on the other side of the door---and that perception may constitute another kind of closed door which will keep them from trying to go through the first kind of door. Our lives are full of closed doors of all kinds, doors which appear open to some of us, but closed to others of us. Trying to force people to do what we believe will be "good" for them or for us, is often like trying to force people to go through closed doors. Closed doors may be unlatched and merely require a push to swing them open. It is not always obvious whether or not a door is latched. It may be necessary to push to find out if it is latched. But, the fear of pushing to find out if the door is latched, may itself be another kind of closed door, perhaps one which is latched, even locked. We may need to unlock the door of blind fear before we will be willing to push on some unlatched doors. Some doors we can not open, unlatch, or unlock. It is their nature that somebody else must unlock, unlatch, and open them for us; and we for them. There are some things we can not do for ourselves. We can not affirm our own worth with the power with which other people can affirm our worth. Such an affirmation by a significant other person can unlock, unlatch, and push open doors for us---which we do not know existed, as well as doors which have frustrated us by being closed, latched, and/or locked. It is futile for us to try to affirm our independence by trying to do for ourselves what we can not do for ourselves because we are human. Such an effort may lead us to become inhumane. We need to be open to others who stand ready to help us recognize doors, and to unlock, unlatch, and open doors for us which can lead to ways of living which are far more fulfilling and meaningful than we dare dream. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================
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