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%DESIRES' EXPRESSIONS 771106
Desires' expressions take a variety of forms: They
may lead to dreams, imagination, and fantasy--as
relatively risk-free ways of working out the possible
consequences of actually seeking to fulfill the desires.
We, especially as children, play games in which we act out
roles which we desire to play in reality--again to test
the viability and integrity of our desires. Often it is
helpful to talk about our desires with someone whom we
trust--to gain an independent perspective of their
viability and integrity. These expressions of desires are
ways of avoiding the mistakes which we may make if we
express our desires in direct action without prior
consideration of the possible implications of actually
attempting to fulfill our desires in real action--without
previous examination through dreams, imagination, fantasy,
games, and trustful discussion.
Some of our desires tend to motivate behaviors which
are disturbing to other people. Society tends to try to
inhibit such "anti-social" behavior by inhibiting the
desires which motivate the behavior. The inhibiting
mechanisms in a tragic ways inhibit not only the "anti-
social" behavior, but also the helpful dreams,
imagination, fantasy, games, and discussions through which
we examine the natural consequences of seeking to realize
those desires in real action. The inhibiting mechanisms
are often counter-productive: they undermine the self-
regulating mechanisms by which healthy people conclude
that certain desires are not worthy of realization through
real action. When the self-regulating mechanisms have
been undermined there is increased need for external
control through the intensification of the kinds of
inhibiting mechanisms which undermined the self-regulating
mechanisms. The process involves a viscous feed-back loop
which is usually not recognized in spite of its bitter
fruits.
The humane and loving thing to do is to promote the
functioning of the healthy self-regulating mechanisms by
encouraging the open consideration of the full range of
human desires--especially discussions of desires which are
conventionally tabooed. The revelation of the existence
of desires should never be the occasion for punishment,
put-downs, disapproval, rejection, excommunication. For
people to make wise decisions they must be free to talk
about all possible forms of behavior--so as to understand
their natural consequences and make prudent decisions on
the basis of good information.
(c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty
(On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)
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