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                                              %PAIN 771006

     Pain  may  originate  in  physical,   emotional,   or
spiritual  injury.    Such  injury may  be  unintentional,
accidental,     malicious,    within   violence,    within
constructive activities,  incidental to growth, etc.   The
injury  may be internal due to  internal  tensions/strains
associated  with  internal conflict,  rather than  due  to
relationships between a person and others.  Pain producing
conflict  may  exist both internally and externally  in  a
mirroring  process  which makes it difficult to  ascertain
the location of the image and of the reality---both images
needing  to  be coped with.   Conflict  generates pain  of
kinds corresponding to the nature of the conflict.

     Our  response to conflict and pain may be  of  varied
sorts.   Some people gain satisfaction and fulfillment out
of participation in  conflict and inflicting pain.   Other
people fear conflict and pain so much that they prefer  to
try  to  avoid them and make such avoidance their ultimate
concern. Other people  recognize the essential roles which
conflict and pain play in real living---and seek to decide
and act  in ways  which  are  loving  and give  meaning to
essential conflict and pain.

     Those who gain perverse satisfaction and  fulfillment
in  conflict  and  pain---ultimately  are  destructive  of
themselves  and  others---usually with only the facade  of
meaning and significance.  They and their contributions do
not endure,  no matter how popular,  respected,   honored,
sophisticated,   etc.    they may be within their  present
communities.

     Those  people who in fear seek to flee from  conflict
and pain---usually only  succeed  in  repressing them  and
their  appearance; internalizing  the conflict and pain to
be experienced  in non-objective ways and be expressed  in
concealed   symbolic  behavior.    Such  people   do   not
contribute  to  conflict  resolution  or  pain  reduction.
Their contributions reap a  whirlwinds of  conflict  and a
painful harvest---even as they generate the appearances of
harmony, adjustment,  agreement, cooperation,  etc.  Their
dishonesty  undermines  the  truth,   justice,   and  open
communications which Love calls for. Ultimately their ways
are impotent to deal helpfully with conflict and pain.

Only lovers can helpfully cope with conflict and pain.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
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