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                                    %DOUBLE BINDS-2 770927

     In  a  simple  life there is for  each  situation  an
appropriate  action to be taken,  the "right thing to do".
In a real life with its many complex inter-relationships--
-situations  are  often not so simple as  to  involve  the
"right  thing to do".   Each of every possible courses  of
action  may  be totally unacceptable according to  one  or
more  very important considerations.    If  each  possible
course    of    action   involves   the   threat/risk   of
excommunication---the situation can be  very  destructive;
for  then no action is viable.   Short of the very serious
threat/risk  of excommunication---compromises may be  made
to  cope  with  double binds,  for  ultimate  meaning  may
survive   after   compromises   which   do   not   involve
excommunication.

     Double   binds  which  bring   great   suffering   to
participants  in a  situation may strain  their  tolerance
levels to  the  point that they do NOT wish to continue to
be joint participants---and  so consider  escape  from the
situation---with  the excommunication involved therein  as
the best compromise.   Such an extreme solution may not be
necessary  if  relationships within the situation  can  be
restructured  so  as to reduce the suffering and  continue
dialogue  at some different yet meaningful  level.    Love
will  seek  to  minimize/interpret the suffering  in  ways
which avoid breaking communication totally.  That will not
necessarily be easy.

     Double-binds  are what they are because of  conflicts
between important, yet secondary, values.   The resolution
of  double-binds  flows  from  a  re-evaluation  of   such
secondary  values in terms of transcendent Love.   Only as
secondary   values   are  evaluated  in   the   light   of
transcendent Love can the tension of double-bind conflicts
be resolved.   Participants in double-bind situations thus
need to seek their fulfillment  in  the service  of  Love,
rather than in seeking  to achieve secondary goals  on the
road  to one's own vision of  self-fulfillment.    Double-
binds can not be resolved by intensified dedication to the
values which occasion them in the first instance.  The Way
to  transcend such values must be sought in the spirit  of
Love.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
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