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 %TRUST RISK HONEST OPEN DEFEND VULNERABLE LOVE SEX 931213

     The  healthy child in a healthy family starts life as
a newborn infant with healthy instincts to:  love, accept,
give,  be open,  trust, take risks, be curious,  talk,  be
vulnerable,   etc.     Such  healthy instincts  are  often
repressed due  to tragic behaviors which hurt and  elicit:
defensiveness,    distrust,   secretiveness,   resentment,
silence,   anger,   frustration  and  inclinations  to  be
violent.

     Both healthy behavior and unhealthy  behavior tend to
grow exponentially; i.e., in proportion to their presence.
Our  dilemma is how to promote healthy behavior by our own
healthy behavior in the presence of the risks generated by
other  people's unhealthy behavior.   How can we prudently
take risks which reduce the extent of future risks.

     If  we  are unwilling to take any risks and  pay  any
price we  will  behave  in  alienative  ways  through  our
distrust and defensiveness;  and  the  alienation which we
thus  generate  will come back  to haunt us with increased
risks in the  future,  and with an inclination on our part
to become increasingly defensive.

     If  we  are  willing to take  prudent  risks  in  the
absence  of any guarantee of success---we will through our
trust  engender additional trust which will grow and  come
back  to bless us with decreased risks in the future,  and
so  bless us  with  increasing  levels  of  true  security
experienced as the freedom to be safely vulnerable.

                         (c) 1997 by Paul A. Smith in
                      "Search for Integrity and Honesty"
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)

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