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%PRESBYNET UNITY #1113 ESSENTIAL THINGS LACK FAIL+990917
%PERSONAL COMMUNAL INTEGRITY LOVERS CONTROLLERS+990917
%DOMINATION SYSTEM TECHNOCRATS FREE EXCHANGE SINS+990917
%GIFTS FREEDOM SAFELY VULNERABLE SECURITY DEFENSE 990917
What is essential to personal and communal integrity?
Here "essential" does NOT mean most important; but rather
her "essential" points to some "things" without which we
as individuals and as communities cannot enjoy personal
and communal integrity.
***** It is essential that each community have within
it a significant number of leaders and followers who
understand the differences between the ways in which
lovers and controllers seek to enjoy security.
Communities cannot readily enjoy both personal and
communal integrity in the absence of some understanding of
the differences between the ways in which lovers and
controllers seek to enjoy security. The differences are
not readily recognized because the differences often stand
in the way of such recognition.
Lovers and controllers find it exceedingly difficult
to understand each other's ways of seeking to enjoy
security --- because:
1. Lovers know from experience that true security is
enjoyed in the free exchange of gracious gifts of the
freedom to be safely vulnerable. In fellowship they
freely exchange gracious gifts of the freedom to be safely
vulnerable within the fellowship of a sanctuary of an
integrative community of people of integrity. Lovers
focus upon doing all that they can do to facilitate and
encourage open and honest dialogue within all of their
relationships. They are free to learn from their own
mistakes and the mistakes of others.
2. Controllers believe that their security will be
enjoyed when they achieve personal invulnerability ---and
so in alienation they seek to control all that is
essential to their own achievement of invulnerability.
Controllers believe that their own security depends upon
their ability to control every detail of their
communications --- intentional and unintentional. For
this reason they participate in collusive games of mutual
self deception which block their understanding of how
lovers manage to enjoy security. When trapped within
their collusions controllers are not free to learn from
their own mistakes --- or from the mistakes of others.
Lovers and controllers live in different ways;
according to quite different paradigms. Their different
ways do not make sense to each other.
That which is essential in the lives of lovers, makes
no sense to controllers --- because open and honest
communications would undermine the collusions of
controllers --- which are seen as essential to the
achievement of invulnerability.
The collusions which are seen by controllers as
essential to the achievement of their own personal
invulnerability --- make no sense to lovers who recognize
the free exchange of gifts of the freedom to be safely
vulnerable --- as essential to true security within
integrative communities.
Many lovers can understand the collusive traps which
blind controllers. Few controllers understand the
maddenly mysterious ways in which lovers can enjoy
security --- while they are so vulnerable and
indefensible.
(c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty
(On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)
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