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%CONTRIVED ARTIFICIAL AWKWARD EMBARRASSED RELATIONS+990705
%GOING TOO FAR FAST UNPREPARED 990705
In our close personal relationships sometimes the
relationship(s) or a participant may push the developments
in the relationship(s) too far or too fast. The response
may be:
1. Embarrassment, artificiality or withdrawal by one
or more of the participants.
2. Reactions and/or responses which are contrived,
coercive or violent on the part of one or more person(s)
involved.
3. Attempts by one or more participant(s) to take
over unilateral control of the evolution of the
relationship(s).
4. One or more participant(s) may resort to formal
rituals, codes, commandments, prohibitions, prescriptions;
or systematic procedures --- to create psychological
distance.
5. The relationship(s) may be terminated in
misunderstanding, confusion, alienation, estrangement,
and/or excommunication(s).
Going to far/fast may be so because of:
1. Inadequate maturity, preparations, knowledge,
understanding and/or patience.
2. Contextual deficiencies in the communal context
of the relationship(s); e.g., as in the case of Romeo and
Juliet, Cinderella and the Prince, or other "mixed"
marriages.
3. Unnecessary constraints contrived by fearful
religious leaders who are preoccupied with issues of
control.
4. Impatience on the part of those involved in the
relationship(s).
5 A lack of balance in power, interests, abilities,
hopes, aspirations and/or fears on the part of
participant(s).
Our relationships are likely to go "sour" if we are
insufficiently aware of the factors which often lead
people to "go too far/fast" in relationship(s). We need
to be aware of and beware of such debilitating factors.
Discerning, naming, describing and talking about them is
not easy because trying to do so may itself be "going too
far and/or fast."
(c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty
(On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)
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