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%NATURE HUMAN REFLEXIVE RELATIONSHIPS FRIENDSHIPS+990526
%IMPOSSIBILITIES OBJECTIVE CONTROLS DESIRABLE SINS+990526
%EVIL ALIENATION ESTRANGEMENT EXCOMMUNICATION GODS+990526
%COMBINATIONS PERMUTATIONS SIMPLE COMPLEX ROLES 990526
People are often preoccupied with issues of
unilateral control in regards to human relationships.
People who are so preoccupied often deceive themselves and
each other regarding the possibilities of such control ---
thinking that various forms of unilateral control are
possible/desirable; when such controls are not possible
and not desirable. Such people are victims of their own
collusive games of mutual self deception --- but keep from
knowing just how they are victims.
Inter-personal human relationships are complex
because of the inevitable reflexive aspects of the
relationships. People reflect upon their own and upon
each other's roles in so far as they are:
PRESCRIBED PROSCRIBED INHIBITED
DESIRED REPRESSED ENVISIONED
WANTED SCRIPTED FEARED
ENVISIONED DREAMED PLANNED
INTENDED CONFUSED PREJUDICED
CONTENTIOUS COERCIVE VIOLATED
VIOLENT INTEGRATED DISINTEGRATED
HEALTHY DISEASED INJURED
DYSFUNCTIONAL RESPONSIVE RESPONSIBLE
INTERESTED INTERESTING COMPETENT
RESPECTED SUPPORTED HONORED
SUCCESSFUL FULFILLED CONNECTED
FRIENDLY INTIMATE JUST
FAIR GENTLE LOVING
HUMBLE ARROGANT SELF-RIGHTEOUS
There are countless possible combinations of
participants in relationships with further countless
possible manners of approach to each other within
countless possible contexts, expectations, hopes, fears,
etc. The possible permutations and combinations are
endless. It is dishonest to think and pretend otherwise.
People and communities of integrity do not think and
pretend otherwise --- and readily recognize people who do
think and pretend otherwise; and respond to them
accordingly.
Although unilateral-control is dysfunctional and
usually impossible --- there are other possibilities which
are integrative, desirable, and helpful:
COOPERATION NEGOTIATION PEACEMAKING
HUMILITY GENTLENESS CONFLICT-RESOLUTION
DIALOGUE LISTENING DISCERNMENT
RESPONSIVENESS CONFIRMATION MUTUAL-UNDERSTANDING
LIBERATION HEALING RECONCILIATION
CLARIFICATION ARTICULATION FORGIVENESS
The alternatives which are available are not limited
to unilateral-control or surrender. Colluders often
feel, think and act as if there are only two alternatives.
(c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty
(On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)
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