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%SMALL TWIG BRANCH BENT LARGE TREE SHALL GROW EVILS+981119                                       
   %KNOW FRUITS ATTITUDE APPROACH ASSUMPTION EXPECT+981119                                                                     
 %FOCUS PRIORITY SETTING CONCENTRATE ATTENTION VIEW 981119                               
                                                                                                                               
     We   often  do not recognize the kinds  of   contexts                
within  which   some  of  our  most  important  decisions,                             
contests and  conflicts  take place.     More attention is                
focused  upon overt decisions,  contests and conflicts ---                
than upon the tacit foundational ones  which  lead to  the                                                                     
overt  ones.     Consider   the   ways   in   which    the      
following factors focus  attention  in determinative  ways      
---   when we deal with difficult  situations,     crises,                                                                     
problems,   dilemmas, conflicts,  contests,   and people:                
                                                                                                                               
     1.  Attitudes   which  are  rooted  in  early   life,                                                                     
emotions, memories, language, images, etc.                                                                                     
                                                                                                                               
     2.  Assumptions  which  are made about the nature  of   
elements, motivations, relationships, processes, etc.              
                                                                                                                               
     3.  Expectations   we   have   about    alternatives,                                                                     
possibilities, suggestions, people, relationships, etc.                                                              
                                                                                                                               
     4.  Beliefs/convictions     we     have     regarding             
different: ideals, values,  goals, principles, priorities,                                     
desires,   hopes,  fears,  anxieties,  needs,   loyalties,          
commitments, promises, etc.                                                                                                    
                                                                                                                               
     5. Emotional  responses to what we and others: think,                                  
feel, desire, fear, need, intend, plan, decide, do, etc.          
                                                                                                                               
     6.  Tendencies toward:  balance  or toward extremism,                                                                     
inclusivity or exclusivity, humility or arrogance,  growth                       
or stagnation,  adaptability or absolutes,  gentleness  or                                                                     
coercion, kindness or violence, forgiveness or punishment,           
reconciliation  or  revenge,   cooperation  or   conflict,                                              
dialogue or excommunication, etc.                                                                
                                                                                                                               
     We  are  more  likely to promote  both  personal  and                                                                 
communal   integrity   if  we  honestly  deal   with   the                                                                
foundational   choices;      than   if   we   engage    in                                                                     
conflicts  over  the superficial  manifestations of  those                                              
foundational  choices.  The  former will lead to  conflict                                              
resolution with personal and   communal  integrity.    The                                                                
latter   will   lead   to confrontations characterized  by                                                                     
collusive games of  mutual self  deception which undermine 
both personal and communal integrity.                                                                
                                                                                                                               
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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