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%LETTING GO WITH INTEGRITY DISCIPLINE CONTROL ALIEN+980118                                        
%SELF RIGHTEOUS ARROGANT MORAL SUPERIORITY EVIL SIN+980118       
%PERSONAL EXPERIENCE PERCEPTION HONEST DIALOGUE SEX 980118
                                                                                                                               
     Letting  go  with integrity entails  being  concerned                               
with  the consequences of letting go   ---   it  does  not                                                                     
entail indifference to the consequences of letting go.                                     
                                                                                                                               
     Integrative  discipline  entails relaxed interest  in                      
seeing  integration,  understanding and  cooperation  flow                                                    
from  discipline  ---   it does not entail desires  to  be          
personally  in  control of all aspects  of  the  processes              
within which one is a participant.                           
                                                                                                                               
     If  we  are  indifferent to the alienation  which  we                                     
engender  through  our efforts to be/appear in control  of                                
the  processes in which we are a participant ---   through              
alienation we  introduce disintegrative influences.                                        
                                                                                                                               
     If  we cling to the personal advantages we anticipate                                                                 
to gain through being in control ---  we thereby let go of                                
the possibilities   of   participating    in   integrative                           
communications which are open, honest and intimate.                     
                                                                                                                               
     If  we  are indifferent to the necessity  of  seeking                                     
balance,   honesty  and mutuality in all of  our  personal                            
relationships ---  we become extremists who are unable  to                                                              
perceive the complementary ways in which others whom we do      
not  trust---have  much to offer to us in Love within  new                             
pathways of life which we fear to explore together.      
                                                                                                                               
     If we dedicate ourselves to the defense of  exclusive                       
ideals,  values and truths ---  we alienate ourselves from                                        
healthy  people  who offer to help us learn to  appreciate                                                                    
open  and honest dialogue which is needed to  clarify  the                 
inclusive truths which we fear.                                                                                                
                                                                                                                               
     If we  insist that a few truths of which we are aware                                                                     
are absolute and eternal ---  we  close our hearts,  minds                                                            
and   souls  to  learning  anything  from   our   personal               
experiences  with  each other ---  and do not get to  know                                   
each other in God's Love.                                           
                                                                                                                               
     We  cannot  truly  love  our  neighbors  as  we  love                                           
ourselves --- if we do not love ourselves in being true to                        
ourselves and to each other.                                                            
                                                                                                                               
     We cannot truly know and understand each other --- as                                                    
long as we  are compulsively preoccupied with unilaterally                                                                     
interpreting for each other's edification certain absolute                      
statements  of  "eternal truths"  which are not  connected                                                                     
existentially to our  personal experiences with each other                                   
in open and honest dialogue.                                                                  
                                                                                                                               
     We cannot enjoy personal and communal integrity if we                                                                
are preoccupied with being better than others---whom we do                                                             
not want to know, understand or trust.                                                    
                                                                                                                               
     We  will be no better than others---so long as we  do                                                               
not deal honestly with these basic facts of real life.                                                                  
                                                                                                                               
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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