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   %KIND ALIENATIVE LOVER RECONCILE SELF OTHER EVIL 980120                                       
                                                                                                                               
     There  are a number of different types of  ALIENATIVE                                     
LOVERS:                                           
                                                                                                                               
     1.  People  who  seek  out  and  unilaterally  rescue                                                                    
people who are poor and vulnerable.                                                                    
                                                                                                                               
     2.  People   who  seek  to  control  the  lives   and                                                           
relationships of other people whom they look down upon.                   
                                                                                                                               
     3.  People who focus so  exclusively  upon ideals and                       
abstractions---that  they  are  out  of  touch  with  real                                                                     
people's lives and experiences.                                   
                                                                                                                               
     4.  People    who   focus   so    exclusively    upon                       
prescriptions and proscriptions  that  they  cannot  focus                                                                     
upon  honest  descriptions of the  consequences  of  their                                                                  
exclusive focus upon prescriptions and proscriptions.                       
                                                                                                                               
     Alienative lovers engage in manipulative pretense; to                                        
the   exclusion  of  participation  of  open  and   honest                       
dialogue.    Their  "love"  is pretentious,  arrogant  and                                           
insensitive   to  the  alienation  which  they   engender.                                        
Tragically  often they succeed in  eliciting  respect  and                                      
support from people who cannot recognize that their "love"                                           
is not authentic.                                                                                                              
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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