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%DISINTEGRATIVE ALTERNATIVES ACCURATE DESCRIPTION+970707
%CONTROL RESPONSIBLE CONTEXT SITUATION DIFFERENT 970707
We can use descriptions of integrative and
disintegrative alternatives to help engender personal and
communal integrity --- and to avoid personal and communal
disintegration. We should ask if offered descriptions
are:
(1) Accurate from various different individuals'
perspectives in the light of their different experiences.
(2) Helpful to different individuals within their
different contexts and different particular situations.
Some people will object to people offering accurate
descriptions which expose pretentious behaviors. They are
probably playing collusive games of mutual self-deception
and need to be exposed to the light of truth.
We can control some, but not all, of our responses to
our contexts and situations. We can use descriptions of
our various levels of control of our various responses to
our various contexts and situations --- to help promote
integration or disintegration. Because we are different,
our patterns of responses and abilities to control our
responses are different.
We can be helpful by creating secure contexts for
open and honest dialogue --- and prudently using such
secure contexts for dialogue to share openly and
accurately our experiences with regard to being (or not
being) in control of our responses in various contexts and
situations. Only when there is open and honest dialogue
can we all learn as much as possible from our experiences
which flow from what turned out to be mistakes made in
ignorance, or made willfully in rebellion against
controls.
(1) We have little control over our physiological
reactions to: our bodies being hit in certain ways and
places, to changes in the brightness of light, to loud
sounds, to zero exercise when chained down; or to taking
in too little air, water, or food when we are deprived.
(2) We have some control over our thought processes
in response to what our culture has taught us are sexually
stimulating stimuli.
(3) We have some control over our daytime sexual
visions, fantasies, dreams and desires.
(4) We have less control over our sexual visions,
fantasies, dreams and desires in the middle of a deep
sleep.
(5) We have more control over our overt sexual
behaviors and communications.
It can be helpful for us to recognize, name and
describe situations in which manipulative people's demands
that "undisciplined" people conform, are often efforts by
the manipulators to be in control of the "undisciplined"
people. In such situations we need to recognize, name
and describe the extent to which various patterns of
behavior by coercive people are integrative and/or
disintegrative. Often the it is not as clear-cut as some
people claim that it is. "Either/or" thinking is often
disintegrative. Dichotomous demands are rarely
integrative. Formula-responses are often not responsible
--- because they cannot be formulated wisely in advance of
un-imagined contexts/situations.
People who are preoccupied with issues of control are
often behaving in the manner of addicts and their
codependent supporters --- playing collusive games of
mutual self-deception. Such games need to be recognized,
named and described as disintegrative of persons and
communities --- regardless of their pretentions as being
supportive of law & order, discipline, morality, ethical
behavior, etc.
(c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty
(On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)
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