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%UNCONVENTIONAL INTIMACY CONFORMITY APPEARANCE LIFE+961205
%DECEPTIVE DISHONESTY COLLUSIVE RESPECTABILITY EVIL 961205

     People  who have not enjoyed true intimacy are  often
insecure,   defensive,  and prone to promote conformity to
some  conventional life style---or to promote  appearances
of  conforming  to some conventional life  style.    Their
efforts  are  often  rewarded by the  mere  appearance  of
conformity on the  part of  people who become  skillful in
appearing  to  be and behave  as  others  expect  them  to
behave---even though the "conformers"  have  to  sacrifice
personal and communal integrity to succeed in appearing to
be conventional.

     Often  it is mis-guided but well  intentioned  people
whose efforts  to  promote conformity thereby  lead others
into collusive life styles of addiction and  codependence.
Once deception has been honored by well intentioned people
who  demand conformity --- deception is regarded as worthy
of   respect   in   other  endeavors---and  there  is   no
substantive  bar against the widening use of deception  to
gain personal advantages  within  the stultifying  context
of  conformal communities.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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