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%AFFIRM OTHER PERSON'S JOY FULFILLMENT CONTROL GOOD+951101
%EVIL GOODNESS ALIENATION PREOCCUPATION AFFIRM LOVE+951101
 %HEALTHY JOY FULFILLMENT FRIEND DESIRE HOPE ASPIRE 951101

     People  who  are preoccupied with issues  of  control
often  cannot  affirm  other people's  joy,   fulfillment,
friendships,   loves,  achievements,  desires,  hopes  and
aspirations---because  such  healthy  realities  cannot be
controlled and are not the fruits of being in control.

     Healthy realities cannot be achieved through controls
and  so people who are preoccupied with issues of  control
cannot find satisfaction in healthy realities.  Also,   it
makes  no  sense to controllers to be pleased by how other
people  have been,  are,  or may come to be in control  or
transcend  controls---for  such is bound to be seen  as  a
threat  to one's own powers of control.  Thus  controllers
cannot  find  personal  satisfaction  in  other   people's
achievement  of control or in other peoples's transcending
controls.

     The  transcendence  of  issues of  control  by  other
people  is  perceived  as a  threat  to  the  controller's
paradigm---for  if other people can transcend  the  belief
system  which  leads  to preoccupation  with  control  the
belief system must not  be worthy of ultimate respect  and
support.   On the other  hand,  when  other people achieve
control  their  achievements  are  also a  threat  because
controllers want to be  in control themselves---as a means
to achieving some personal impression of being secure.

     To controllers security is to be achieved by being in
control---for  they  cannot conceive the possibility  that
true security might be the freedom to be safely vulnerable
in the absence of preoccupations with issues of control.

     In light  of the above; controllers cannot  be  truly
supportive  of each other, and much less can they be truly
supportive  of  people who transcend  preoccupations  with
issues of control.   Thus controllers who are  preoccupied
with  issues  of control are trapped on  dead-end  streets
with  no hope of achieving satisfaction---and so they  are
often  depressed and hopeless people as they discover  how
futile life  is  when trapped  within  preoccupations with
issues of control.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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