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 %REFLEXIVE HONESTY PARADIGM COMMUNAL INTEGRITY JOY+940526
  %PERSONAL BLOCK INHIBIT REPRESS SUPPRESS LOVE SEX 940526

    We cannot enjoy personal and communal integrity in the
absence  of people who are comfortable in open and  honest
reflexive dialogue with each other within the context of a
paradigm   which  serves  as  the  basis  for  giving  and
receiving  true gifts of security known as the freedom  to
be safely vulnerable.

    Honesty  is most threatened when reflexive honesty  is
most  threatened.    It is not as difficult to  be  honest
about  objective  facts,  as  about  reflexive  facts  and
experiences.  This is not to say that is is always easy to
be  honest  about  objective facts  which  have  reflexive
implications.    It may be an objective fact that we  have
violated  some  civil,  moral,  religious,   or  spiritual
commandment  which we and those who matter most to us take
seriously---so  that objective fact has profound reflexive
implications   for  us  all.    Those  profound  reflexive
implications  make it harder for us to be open and  honest
about the objective fact---than would be the case if there
were  not  such  profound reflexive  implications  to  the
objective  fact.    The more profound  are  the  reflexive
implications of any event, experience, fact or situation--
-the more likely it  is that honesty will be threatened in
regards to the event, experience, fact or situation.

    If  we  are not cooperative participants in a paradigm
which  gives us  a sure foundation upon which to build our
patterns  of reflexive dialogue---then it is unlikely that
we will know how and be able to give/receive the gifts  of
true   security  (known  as  the  freedom  to  be   safely
vulnerable)   which  are  essential to both  personal  and
communal integrity.    In their absence and in the absence
of a paradigm which promotes reflexive honesty in communal
dialogue,  there is not likely to be  either  communal  or
personal    integrity.     People   who   are   compulsive
participants  in exclusively objective paradigms are  thus
unable to enjoy either personal or communal integrity; for
their   paradigms   exclude  the  possibility   of   being
participants   in  a  paradigm  which  gives  us  a   sure
foundation  upon which to build our patterns  of reflexive
dialogue.     Their paradigms stand in the way,   blocking
the possibility of  agreeing  upon this hidden truth. Such
blockage    leads   to   both   personal   and    communal
disintegration.

    The above considerations  are relevant  to any and all
efforts  to  understand  the  dynamics  of   dysfunctional
behaviors  of addicts and their supportive codependents in
regards    to:      intimacy,      sexuality,     loyalty,
responsibility,  responsiveness,  joy, faith, hope,  love,
power, justice and the courage to be true to ourselves and
each other.  They need to be the focus of attention within
religious,   political,   educational,   scientific,   and
legislative dialogue which are open and honest about human
limitations, failures, and healing.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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