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      %SEARCH INTEGRITY HONEST BEING YOURSELF WHOLE+940527
    %SYMPTOM DISINTEGRATION SICK ILLNESS ALIENATION+940527
  %SILENT TALK ABSENT LANGUAGE WORD SYMBOL INTEREST 940527

    Often we fail  to  recognize,  name and talk about the
symptoms  of  our  disintegration,  including our  lack of
integrity as such a symptom.   Until we do recognize, name
and  talk  about  such symptoms openly and honestly we are
likely  to  respond to them without  knowledge,   insight,
understanding  and/or  wisdom.   In the absence of  honest
recognitions, naming, and talk; we are in the dark and are
bound to behave like  we are in the dark---not as children
of light living with joy and lightness.

    As children of darkness we often  take the symptoms of
our  darkness very seriously,  and to treat them and  each
other  very seriously;  as we try  to control the darkness
(or its appearance)  which is the result of our banishment
of honest recognition,  naming and talk of the symptoms of
our  disintegration and lack of integrity.    In the self-
imposed  darkness  of our collusive games of  mutual  self
deception we cannot honestly see and learn from our own or
each  other's  mistakes;   and so we are  trapped  in  the
prisons of our endless repetitions of our dark mistakes.

    The  rules  of  our  collusive games  of  mutual  self
deception demand that  we  honor the taboos  which make it
impossible for us to recognize,  name, and talk openly and
honestly   about   our   most   meaningful    experiences,
intimacies, affections,  loves, and sexual lives; for they
threaten  our  collusive games of mutual  self  deception.
The   silences   of  our  being  alone  together  in   our
meaningless crowds are symptoms of our disintegration  and
our lack of  integrity;  but we cannot honestly recognize,
name, or talk about such silences for what they are.

    Many  of our "successes"  are based  upon  assumptions
regarding  the  scarcity of  human  resources,   intimacy,
affection,  love  and sexual integrity.   The  meaningless
"successes" which do not satisfy us or give meaning to our
lives,  are symptoms of our disintegration and our lack of
integrity; but we cannot honestly recognize, name, or talk
about such meaningless "successes" for what they are.

    We often behave as if we are essentially separated and
alienated   creatures---in  keeping  with  the   objective
paradigm  of  "successful"   people  who  are  addictively
fixated upon tools of manipulation and  control;    but we
cannot  honestly  recognize,   name,  or talk  about  such
fixations  on  the  part  of some of  our  most  respected
religious,    political,   educational,    scientific  and
technocratic leaders---who are  themselves symptoms of our
disintegration and lack of integrity.

    Often  we  have  regarded  defensive  people  who  are
fixated upon defensive manipulation as security people; in
spite of the reality that true security is the freedom  to
be safely vulnerable in the absence of defensive measures.
We  cannot  see  the  absurdity  because of  the  darkness
created by our collusive games of mutual self deception.

    Rather than curse the darkness and the consequences of
the darkness,  we  will do well to turn on the  lights  of
honesty and openness---and recognize,  name and talk about
the symptoms of our living in the darkness we have chosen.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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