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    %PERFECT SEXUAL CONFORMITY EXCEPTION TABOO RULE 921225

     Is  personal  acceptability well defined in terms  of
conformity    to   rules,    regulations,     disciplines,
expectations,     and    taboos   governing   all   sexual
relationships  in  public  and private?   Are  people  who
conform to such definitions well,  healthy,  free of  dis-
ease,  and people of integrity?  In proportion to how well
they  conform?  Only if they know when and where,   within
what  contexts,   to  let  go with personal  and  communal
integrity;  and  be  free  of  preoccupation  with perfect
conformity?

     Is  perfect conformity in all contexts,  times,   and
places better  than is decent respect for people's  unique
characteristics.   Is  it  healthy  to  seek  to   conform
perfectly  to  communal expectations and prescriptions  at
all  times as regards sexual relationships?  Is it healthy
for  us to ask or expect others to  always conform to  our
expectations  and  prescriptions  regarding  their  sexual
being and relationships?

     What   would   be   the  nature  of  perfect   sexual
conformity:   always  behaving in  keeping  with  communal
expectations, in private as well as in public?

     Can   a   community  which  expects  perfect   sexual
conformity show respect and admiration for lovers who seek
to discover  new  and varied ways  of giving and receiving
sexual pleasure apart from  conformal rules, expectations,
requirements and  taboos?  Can  such  a community  promote
openness,    honesty,   and   personal  integrity,   while
withholding respect and admiration from lovers who seek to
discover  new  and  varied ways of  giving  and  receiving
sexual pleasure apart from conformal rules,  expectations,
requirements and taboos?

     Can we be people and communities of integrity without
openly   and  honestly  discussing  the  above  kinds   of
questions;  or should some of the questions be  taboo  and
punishable  by  rejection,  excommunication,  expulsion or
other forms of separation from the community?

     See the previous essay.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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