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    %REFLEXIVE OBJECTIVE SEX COMMUNAL EXPECT RELATE 921206

     Because   healthy  human  sexual  relationships   are
essentially   reflexive  realities  (as  well  as   having
obviously objective aspects) objectivity is NOT the key to
healthy  human sexual relationships.  Healthy human sexual
relationships  are  NOT  essentially  objective realities;
i.e.,   the essence of healthy human  sexual relationships
can  NOT  be defined in terms  of objective behaviors  and
expectations.    The  essence  of  healthy  human   sexual
relationships  CAN  be  defined  in  terms  of   reflexive
behaviors and expectations;  but NOT in terms of objective
behaviors and expectations.

     Communal  expectations and  standards  are  reflexive
realities;   reflecting upon the nature of the  community,
and upon the natures of its members. Communal expectations
and standards are NOT essentially objective realities; for
they  can  NOT  be defined in  the  absence  of  reflexive
behaviors  and  expectations.   Communal expectations  and
standards can NOT be defined purely in terms of OBJECTIVE:
intimacy, serenity,  visions, dreams,  laws, requirements,
demands,  taboos and collusions.  Such pairing of the word
"OBJECTIVE" with the words following it creates oxymorons;
internally self contradictory word pairs which are without
integrity.   Communal  integrity is NOT promoted  by  such
oxymorons.

     Healthy   sexual  relationships  are  encouraged   by
healthy  communal  expectations  and  guidance  which  are
essentially  reflexive  realities;   reflecting  upon  the
nature  of  the  community and upon  the  natures  of  its
members.

     All  sexual relationships depend critically upon  the
kinds  of  communal  expectations and guidance  which  are
internalized  in  the  participants who  are  involved  in
sexual  relationships.  Sexual relationships  between  and
among members of a  community can NOT exist apart from the
communal   expectations   and   guidance   within    which
participants  in  sexual relationships are conceived;  and
within  which they conceive themselves and each other.  We
invent ourselves and each other within reflexive  communal
contexts    which    are   characterized   by    COMMUNAL:
expectations,  guidance, role models, statements,  images,
visions, dreams, laws, requirements,  demands,  taboos and
collusions.   We  can  NOT  extract  ourselves  from  such
COMMUNAL contexts.  We CAN respond or react to them,   and
thereby contribute to their pervasive evolution.  While we
can NOT  extract  ourselves from communal contexts;  we do
contribute to their evolutions.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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