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  %PAIR WORD CONCEPT TOGETHER CONFLICT PEACE DEFEND 920923

     It  is  revealing and instructive to consider two  or
more  of  the following words/concepts together to see  if
they  may  (or may not)  apply meaningfully together to  a
given  situation in a honestly descriptive  way.   A   few
examples of such considerations follow the list:

SECURE DEFENSIVE VULNERABLE PEACEFUL

INSECURE NON-DEFENSIVE INVULNERABLE CONFLICTIVE

TRANQUIL RELAXED TENSE INTENSE

HONEST DISHONEST COLLUSIVE ADDICTIVE

     A  person  who is truly secure is not defensive.    A
person who is defensive is not truly secure.

     A person who is truly secure may be vulnerable if the
person  is living within a context where true security has
been given as  a  free gift  which  is  the  freedom to be
vulnerable.   Similarly a person who is vulnerable may  be
truly secure.

     A defensive person may or may not be vulnerable;  for
many  defensive  people  seek to be invulnerable  and  are
often  considered  to be  invulnerable---but  nevertheless
remain defensive.  Defensiveness is not closely related to
real  vulnerability,   even though defensiveness is  often
related  to  feelings  of  vulnerability  and desires  for
invulnerability which is regarded as the key to security.

     The  truly  peaceful  person is usually  secure  even
though  vulnerable.   The  truly peaceful  person  is  not
defensive. The defensive person is not peaceful or secure,
even when apparently invulnerable.  Defensiveness does not
generate peacefulness even when it achieves the appearance
of invulnerability.

     Defensive  people  are  almost  always  insecure  and
almost  always regard invulnerability to be equivalent  to
security;   but never feel secure in proportion  to  their
invulnerability.  Defensive people always feel insecure no
matter what the level of their defensive accomplishments.

     Defensive  people are conflictive;  involved in  many
unresolved conflicts within their extended communities and
within   their   psychic   structures  where   they   have
internalized external unresolved conflicts between ideals,
values,  principles,  means/ends,  technologies,  desires,
fears, etc.  Truly secure people are not thus conflictive;
they  are  relaxed  in peaceful integrative  personal  and
communal relationships.  They can relax and be tranquil in
true shalom. They feel no need to be tense or intense.

     Honesty,   openness and true dialogue are  associated
with  true security,  peace,  tranquility,  integrity  and
shalom.

     Dishonesty, secretiveness, defensiveness, insecurity,
collusiveness,    addictions,   tensions  and   unresolved
conflicts are commonly associated with each other.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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