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  %PERVERT POSITIVE NEGATIVE EXPECT ANTICIPATE LOVE 920922

     Our  emotional  lives  and behaviors  are  profoundly
influenced by the kinds of expectations and  anticipations
which  guide  us.   Expectations and anticipations may be:
positive  or negative,  gentle or coercive,  supportive or
threatening,   affirming  or  judgmental,   liberating  or
imprisoning, etc.

     Expectations  and anticipations which are:  positive,
gentle,   supportive,   affirming and/or  liberating---may
become  patterns  upon which we may  (through perversions)
base  other contrasting  expectations  and   anticipations
which are:  negative, coercive,  threatening,  judgmental,
and/or  imprisoning.  We may think that the nature of  the
pattern  we  use  will  determine the nature  of  what  we
create---but it is not always so.  Through  processes   of
perversion we may use positive patterns in ways which lead
us to negative results.  We need to recognize,  talk about
and  understand  the  nature  of  the  perverse  processes
through  which we can use positive patterns in ways  which
lead us to negative results.

     When  we  use  positive patterns of  expectation  and
anticipation  to  guide us  toward  conformal standards of
personal  attitudes   and  behavior---we  fall   into  the
alienative  traps  of  believing  that  through  conformal
standards we can achieve  the "good personal attitudes and
behaviors"    to  which  the  standards  point.   Personal
attitudes and behaviors cannot be manipulated, controlled,
regulated,  and achieved in the same way which objects can
be manipulated,  controlled, regulated and achieved within
the  objective  realm of reality and  relationships.   The
elements  of the objective paradigm do not serve  well  as
patterns  to  guide us in the realm of  intimate  personal
relationships.

     When  we  use elements of the objective  paradigm  to
guide  us in the realm of intimate personal  relationships
we  tend  to pervert many expectations  and  anticipations
which are: positive, gentle,  supportive, affirming and/or
liberating.   To  enjoy  positive,   gentle,   supportive,
affirming  and/or liberating results we must use  elements
of  each  paradigm  within the  contexts  where  they  are
appropriate;  and not thoughtlessly transplant elements of
a  paradigm to contrasting  contexts  where  they are  not
appropriate---and   so  lead  to  personal  and   communal
disintegration.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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