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  %FULLY ENJOY ECSTASY SHARE OPEN HONEST VULNERABLE 920924

     To fully enjoy our ecstasies we must share them.   If
we  are  not free to share our ecstasies  we  cannot fully
enjoy them.

     To  be  fully  human we must be  free  to  share  our
ecstasies.   If  we are not free to share our ecstasies we
cannot be fully human.

     To  share  our  ecstasies  we  must  be  free  to  be
vulnerable.  If we are not free to be vulnerable we cannot
fully enjoy your ecstasies, and we cannot be fully human.

     If  we feel we must hide our feelings to be safe;  we
are not free to be vulnerable,  we cannot fully enjoy  our
ecstasies, and we cannot be fully human.

     If  we  feel we must hide our feelings to be  safe---
then we involve ourselves  in  unsatisfying paradigms  of:
secrecy,  isolation, alienation, estrangement,  misleading
behaviors,    deception,    manipulative   communications,
dishonesty  and coercive/violent relationships.  We become
defensive colluders, addicts and supportive codependents.

     If in our insecurity and defensiveness we  cannot let
go  of our defensive paradigms of:   secrecy,   isolation,
alienation, estrangement, misleading behaviors, deception,
manipulative   communications,   dishonesty  and   violent
relationships----then   we   are  led  to   be:   terribly
frustrated,  resentful,  angry,  confused,   manipulative,
defensive, and violent. We reject whomever and whatever we
cannot control in our futile efforts  to achieve  security
--- and   so  fully  isolate,    alienate   and   estrange
ourselves   from  each  other.   We  and  our  communities
disintegrate.

     It  is  a terrible thing to be so  insecure  that  we
cannot  ever safely let go of our defensive paradigms!  To
avoid such a terror we need to give to each other the free
and  unconditional gift of the freedom to  be  vulnerable;
i.e.,  the gift of true security.  Only then can we  truly
feel  free to be open and honest with each other about our
feelings;  and be truly free to be persons and communities
of integrity---with ecstasy and joy through  shared  being
ourselves together in honest ways;  i.e.,  in our own ways
of being ourselves with personal and communal integrity.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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