This is http://www.essayz.com/a9208171.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %HOW SEEK INTEGRITY CONFLICT RESOLVE HONEST LOVE 920817 How are we to search for integrity and honesty? We lack integrity when we are at war within ourselves, among ourselves, and with each other; internally and externally. We lack integrity when there exist persisting unchanging conflicts among the ideals and values which we (individually and communally) show to be most important in how they guide our patterns of: attitudes, perceptions, assumptions, beliefs, communications, emotions, expressions, listening, decisions and actions (both individually and communally). If our paradigms are constructed of conflicting elements, then we lack integrity as persons and as communities. To search for integrity and honesty we must work hard at truly resolving the conflicts both within us and among us as regards the contextual importance of the most basic ideals and values which lead us in our patterns of conflicting attitudes, perceptions, assumptions, beliefs, communications, emotions, expressions, listening, decisions and actions (both individually and communally). If we lack personal integrity because of the perpetual yet unattended wars among our: internalized values and ideals, unique personal natures and needs, and our desires---then we are in no position to contribute to communal integrity by working to help members of our communities to resolve their inter-personal, inter-group, inter-state, and inter-national conflicts. If our communities are full of unresolved conflicts among ideals and values which we are prone to internalize; then we as individuals find it difficult to resolve within ourselves the conflicts which rage among the members of our communities who call upon us to support their strongly taken and held positions in battles for dominance. We may be "invited" to join and be members of many different dishonest and unhealthy: collusions, addictive control groups, and/or codependent support groups. If we DO NOT join any such dishonest and unhealthy group---we are likely to be "out of it". If we DO join any such dishonest and unhealthy group---we become disintegrated internally and externally; and unable to honestly resolve conflicts internally or externally. If we do join unhealthy collusions, addictive control groups and/or codependent support groups; and become compulsively active in trying to DO GOOD, then we contribute to increasing cycles of attempts to be in control, dominant, superior, perfected, etc. In that instance trying harder to do what we "know" we should do will only promote disintegration. If we truly want to contribute to communal health and integrity, our preparatory task is to seek personal health and integrity; seeking to be truly ourselves as we really can be when we are free to be open and honest in secure contexts where vulnerability is not dangerous. If we have not so sought and enjoyed some degree of fulfillment in our seeking; then we cannot contribute to the kind of communal health, integrity and peace which the word "shalom" connotes in its fullest meaning---for we then have nothing to contribute. That which we have not enjoyed we cannot give with joy, no matter how hard we try and work. If we give our nothing without joy, our "giving" is futile, if not disintegrative. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================