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   %WANT DESIRE NEED COVET SEEK LOOK SEARCH FIND BE+920815
   %SYMBOL DOMINANCE CONTROL SUBMIT LANGUAGE ADDICT 920815

     People who feel that they need,  must,  should,  can,
ought---be  in control---often behave in terms of  symbols
of  dominance  and submission.  Their own actions and  the
actions of others are not taken at face value as practical
actions and/or revelations of  the experiences,  feelings,
perceptions,  beliefs,  and desires of participants in the
relationship---but  are taken to be PRIMARILY  symbols  of
status   as  regards  dominance,   control,    leadership,
submission, follower-ship and discipleship. Such people do
not  live  in terms of practical actions and in  terms  of
open and honest dialogue;  but rather in  terms of a dance
of dominance and submission.

     Dominant  people  need submissive  people  to  affirm
their   status  of  dominance.   There  is  no  satisfying
fulfillment  to dominant  people in the absence of  people
who  acknowledge  and  affirm  their dominance.   Dominant
people  are  often  dominant  authoritarians  in  need  of
submissive   authoritarians  who  feel  a  deep  need  for
dominant authoritarians to tell them what to feel,  think,
say,   do,  and avoid.  Authoritarians come in two  types;
dominant  authoritarians  and  submissive  authoritarians,
each  needing  the other for their own perverse  sense  of
fulfillment.

     The   fulfillment  of  the  status  of  dominance  of
dominant authoritarians most often involves the use of and
the   acknowledgement   of   symbols  of   dominance   and
submission. Actions,  body language,  signs,  and modes of
conversation  all take on symbolic importance  as  regards
the  status of  dominance  or  submission---an  importance
which plays a more central role in the participant's drama
than  the  practical aspects or the overt content  of  the
various communications.

     If  people who are supposed to be submissive fail  to
properly acknowledge the symbols of dominance within their
proper contexts,  they are likely to become the victims of
violent actions of those who feel the need, desire, right,
duty and privilege  to  be  in an acknowledged position of
dominance  and  control.   Dominant  people  who  are  not
properly   affirmed  in  their  dominance   often   become
destructively  violent---psychologically,    economically,
politically,  verbally, affectively, spiritually, sexually
and in other ways; even if not physically.

     To   transcend  patterns  of  personal  and  communal
violence we need to understand and deal with the  patterns
of  use of symbols of dominance,  so that we may transcend
the  tacit  forms of abuse which lay the  foundations  for
overt forms of abuse and violence.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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