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 %RISK FALL LOVE REAL FALSE SLIP SLIDE INTIMATE SEX 900528

     In the addictive society it is of ultimate importance
to appear to conform to proper expectations; but the rules
of the game are confused and not well articulated.   It is
thus  important  to  stay  far away from  where  the  line
between  proper  and improper may be perceived  to  be  by
powerful judgmental  others. If  we are  not  careful then
our thoughts,  desires, fantasies, imaginations,  visions,
fears and expectations may not conform to propriety;   and
we  may  be   rejected  by  others,    excluded  from  all
conversation  within which we might be converted and saved
from  our isolation. We must be careful not to reveal that
which  is within  us which may not conform  properly.   We
must  avoid intimacy  if we are to avoid  being   rejected
and  have intimacy with-held from us.

     In the addictive society the rules of the games which
are  played  are not well defined;  because any effort  to
define  them clearly would expose the dishonesty which  is
inherent in the games of mutual self deception.

     In the  addictive society it is important  that   all
behavior  be  governed by rules and regulations,   ethics,
morality,  traditions,  expectations,  etc.   Behavior and
thoughts  which transcend such governance are a threat  to
the   collusive  system which appears to be the Ground  of
Being in the addictive society.  To be is to conform.   To
conform  is to be real,  to be acceptable.   Conformity is
the  Ground  of  Being.   Appearances are the  essence  of
being.

     Conformity need  not entail honesty;  for  the   mere
appearance  of  conformity is enough to satisfy those  who
demand  conformity,  because they fear to look beyond mere
appearances in themselves and others.  They dare not check
to see if conformity is authentic or false,  for to  check
is  to call into question the rules of the collusive games
of  self  deception which are the ground of  their  being;
being who they are not, in order to appear acceptable.

     Authentic  intimacy  and sexuality are taboo  in  the
addictive society because it is impossible to  participate
in  authentic  intimacy  and sexuality while  playing  the
collusive games of mutual self deception which define what
is,  and what is not, acceptable in the addictive society.
It  is  taboo  to  clarify such differences  as  do  exist
between  intimacy  and  sexuality;   for to  clarify  such
differences  would  expose the collusive games  of  mutual
self deception.  Thus in the addictive society where there
are  taboos against some forms of sexual desire, thoughts,
fantasies, and behaviors; it is important to avoid all the
gray areas which are wide and dangerous,  because they are
so ill defined and confused.

     The  ill  definitions  of  what  is  the  essence  of
propriety  and  what  is the essence of  impropriety  puts
people  ill-at-ease and occasions dis-ease  and  sickness;
the  sickness   of the addictive society  which  is  often
treated  by medical doctors who do not dare look  for  the
roots  of the diseases which they treat with chemicals and
cutting tools;  but rarely  treat with compassion which is
honestly felt and expressed.

     The medical  doctors of the  addictive  society   are
addicted to their manipulative/intrusive paradigm in which
they  seek to be in charge,  in control,  of  the  healing
process.    They  do  not know how to  tap  the  patients'
potential healing processes,  for such processes are based
upon  a  level  of honesty which is taboo in  the  medical
profession which is addicted to technocratic reactions  to
disease by which doctors try to doctor,  to fix,  patients
as  victims of disease,  and so the patients often  become
victims of treatment.   Terminally ill patients are  often
required to  submit to treatments whose only purpose is to
celebrate the society's addiction to the medical paradigm.

     The  roles   which patients play in  choosing  to  be
victims in attitude, thought, affect, and behavior are not
dealt   with   in   the  traditional   medical   treatment
procedures. Such roles are not named or acknowledged, even
though  they are the roots of the diseases.   Recovery  of
health  in  the  addictive society waits for the  work  of
people able to be honest about the  nature  of the   roots
of most human dis-eases.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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