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%TENSION STRAIN ANXIETY COLLUSIVE DISHONESTY ADDICT 900221

     Much tension,  strain and anxiety is generated by our
attempts  to maintain the appearance of personal integrity
within  the context of the misleading behaviors which  are
so characteristic of collusive addictions and  codependent
networks of support.

     When  the structure of our thought patterns  and  our
corresponding behavior patterns lacks integrity,  it takes
constant  effort to try to keep the pieces together,   and
even more effort to try to make them appear to be  hanging
together naturally as a coherent whole.  It is bad  enough
to  try to deceive others;  it is even harder to play  the
game  of mutual self deception within our own selves in  a
self convincing way.

     As we try to appear to ourselves to be whole (when we
are not)  it takes much energy to maintain our own pattern
of  self deception;  much tension,  strain and anxiety  is
generated. It is not easy to pretend to be able to do more
than our limited resources,  time and energy permit, to be
more  competent than we are,  to be more confident than we
really  are.   Maintaining  pretenses drains  us  of  much
energy,  leaving little energy for creative work. We could
do more,  be more creative,  and live happier lives if  we
could  learn to be honest with ourselves and  others.   We
need  to help each other by giving to each other the gifts
of contexts in which we can be secure while being open and
honest.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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