This is http://www.essayz.com/a8907272.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %TAKING GOD'S STEPS TOWARDS HONESTY FOR OURSELF 890727 We cannot take God's steps towards honesty on behalf of another person; for them. Each of us must take our own steps towards honesty on our own behalf; for our own self. We each need encouragement in taking our steps towards honesty. We will be best encouraged in taking our own steps towards honesty by seeing others taking their own steps towards honesty. We will not be encouraged to take our own steps towards honesty by others trying to coerce us to do so; for coercion tends to promote the playing of dishonest games of mutual self deception in efforts to avoid the coercion. We will not be encouraged to take our own steps towards honesty by seeing others try to do it for us; for if they do it for us, why should we do it for ourselves? Why trouble ourselves to do for ourselves what others are willing to do for us? Especially when what is involved is as embarrassing as is taking steps towards honesty about ourselves. We cannot be honest about another person on behalf of the other person. Others cannot be honest about us on behalf of us, for us; for they cannot do so in a way which will meaningfully substitute for us being honest about ourselves. We are the only one who can own and be honest about our own experiences. Other people do not know our experiences the way we know our experiences. Other people cannot truthfully say what it is like to have had our particular experiences; only we can do that. Other people cannot be honest about our experiences on our behalf. That is our responsibility, and we need to be given and accept the security within which to fulfill that responsibility by being honestly responsive. Responsibility has to do with being responsive in honest ways. People who are taking God's steps towards honesty for themselves are responsive, responsible. Responsible people are open and honest about themselves and their experiences; they are responsive, owning their own experiences and being honest about the consequences of their decisions and actions. When people are taking steps in God's way towards honesty, the community is well informed and able to make wise decisions which promote both personal and communal integrity. When people are trying to appear to be successful through misleading behavior, the community is not well informed and is unable to make wise decisions. It disintegrates and lacks integrity; and vice versa. We cannot own another person's responsibility to be honest about their decisions and actions; i.e., we cannot be responsive for another person---own their responsibility. We cannot do for another what only they can do for themselves. If we try to do so, we are deceiving ourself and perhaps them, we are being dishonest; i.e., not being responsive/responsible ourself. We cannot be responsible for another person when we are not being responsible ourself. Even so, many codependent people try to be responsible for their own addicts; thereby encouraging their own addicts to evade their responsibility to be honestly responsive regarding their own decisions and actions. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================