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  %CONCEIVE REALIZE FULFILL INTEGRATE CONTEXT LEARN 881129

     One   of  the  first  steps  towards  health  for   a
disintegrating  community  and its members is to  work  on
creating integrative contexts within which people will  be
free  to  learn  together from their  mistakes.    In  the
absence  of  such integrative contexts their  can  not  be
personal and communal learning from mistakes made;  and so
mistakes  will be repeated over and over.   To learn  from
mistakes there must be fail-safe  contexts in which people
feel  free  to take risks and trust others  to  help  them
learn from their mistakes  in  open  and  honest  dialogue
regarding why choices were made, and what the consequences
of the choices were.

     The  creation of integrative contexts begins  in  the
conception of the possibility that they might exist,   and
in  the  realization  of  what their  features  might  be.
Imaginative  members  of a  disintegrating  community  can
conceive  of possibilities which others may not be able to
imagine.     There  needs  to  be  discussion   of   those
possibilities,  and of the desirability of realizing  what
they  are,   both  in imagination and  in  reality.    The
recognition of the need for such contexts  in  the face of
disintegration  is an important first step  to putting  an
end to the disintegrative games of  mutual self  deception
which characterize personal and communal disintegration.

     The  collusive  games  of mutual  self  deception  of
addicts  and codependents continue so long as they do  not
perceive  the possibility of more desirable  alternatives.
The  conception  and  sharing  of  those  more   desirable
alternatives  is  an  essential  aspect  of  the  recovery
process.   It is a difficult aspect,  because the rules of
the  games act to conceal the alternatives as if they were
a  deadly  threat  the participants in  the  games.    The
transcendence of that perception of them as a threat, is a
first  step  towards  recovery.   Overt threats  will  not
facilitate such transcendence.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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