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%ACCEPT REJECTION FEELINGS EMOTIONS THOUGHTS OTHERS 881019

     Personal  and  communal integrity  depend  critically
upon  who,   is accepted and what of one's own  self,   is
accepted into dialogue; or rejected into excommunication.

     If  rejection  of others and of aspects of one's  own
self is accepted as an acceptable means for attempting  to
control  others/self,   then  it  logically  follows  that
disintegration  will  proceed as rejections are  made  and
dialogue decreases.

     If unconditional acceptance of the propriety of being
in dialogue with others, and with all aspects of one's own
self  is  accepted as a communal norm,  then it  logically
follows  that integration will proceed as acceptances  are
made  within the limitations of human time,  energy,   and
communication skills.

     If unacceptable human emotions,  thoughts,  feelings,
desires,   etc.   are  rejected and excluded  from  honest
dialogue;   then  disintegration  will  proceed.   It   is
dangerous to accept the notion that there are unacceptable
human emotions,  thoughts,  feelings,  desires,  etc.  The
acceptance  of  that  notion  lays  the  foundations   for
disintegration of personal and communal integrity.

     There  is  a fundamental difference between  approval
of,  persons and acceptance into dialogue of persons.   We
cannot  deal  wisely with whomever we cannot  accept  into
dialogue.  To excommunicate people from dialogue is to put
them out of range of wise consideration and coping.  It is
proper to accept into dialogue others, emotions, thoughts,
feelings, desires, etc.  regarding which judgement has not
been  made;  otherwise there can be no informed basis  for
making wise judgements.

     Judgement  does  not have to do  with  acceptance  or
rejection of people with regard to dialogue. To accept the
notion  that  negative  judgments  imply  exclusion   from
dialogue,  is to lay the foundations for disintegration of
both personal and communal integrity.  The community which
insists  on  keeping all members of the  community  within
dialogue,  thereby lays the foundations for the  enjoyment
of both personal and communal integrity.  The hazard  lies
in  exclusion  of  some  members  of  the  community  from
opportunities for dialogue, for any reason whatsoever.

     If  some members of the community are  excluded  from
dialogue  for  some  reason,  it  follows  logically  that
members  of the community will exclude from intra-personal
dialogue those aspects of self which remind self of  those
persons  who are excluded from opportunities for  communal
dialogue.  Disintegration sets in. Intra-personal patterns
of  dialogue and repressions mirror communal dialogue  and
repressions; they are interdependent and inter-causal. The
two patterns cannot really be separated from each other by
any  form  of repression.  To see reality otherwise is  an
illusion  created  by collusions and the games  of  mutual
self   deception  characteristic  of  addicts  and   their
supportive codependents.

     To  promote  personal and communal integrity we  must
insure that no members of the community, and no aspects of
self  awareness,  are excluded from opportunities for open
and honest dialogue.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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