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 %ADDICT CODEPENDENT PERSONAL RELATIONS FIX CONCERN 881019

     The  addict is preoccupied with fixes.   A  fix is  a
means to maintain the illusion of having solved a problem,
without having addressed the problem openly and honestly.

     The   personal   relationships  of  the  addict   are
dominated by attempts to obtain fixes. People are means to
obtaining  fixes.   People who fail to provide fixes  have
failed  to  fulfill their duty to the addict.  People  who
might  offer a fix and fail to offer a fix have failed  to
fulfill their responsibility.

     Parents,   lovers,  codependents,  etc.   may  become
trapped  in  efforts  to fulfill the expectations  of  the
addict  who looks to them as the source of fixes.  If  the
judgments   of   the  addict  are  taken   seriously   the
codependents become imprisoned in the frame of mind of the
addict, a servant to the addict's attitudes. It is wearing
to  constantly try to be a fix to a problem which  is  not
being  addressed  openly and honestly.  It  takes  a  good
Christian  suffering  servant  to  keep it  up  for  long,
especially  when such sacrificial service is  helping  the
addict remain addicted to the service which is offered.

     It is important for people who have dependents of any
age,   young  or  old,  not to fall into  the  pattern  of
codependents  in  their relationships with  addicts.   The
process of slipping into such a relationship is not at all
obvious,   and  people  need  training  to  recognize  the
beginning of the process in themselves and in others.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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