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%RESPONSIBLE MANAGEMENT OF DESIRES 851217
Some desires are essentially self-referential. Other
desires involve in an essential way the sharing of desires
with another person; there is a desire than another have a
desire to share the desire.? In the latter case there
may be a desire to manage the mutuality of desires, but
such a desire is usually frustrated in that management
does not bring the fulfillment envisioned in fantasy.
Society may forbid coercive efforts at management of
others' desires, or efforts to coerce others in the
fulfillment of less reciprocal desires. Jack may wish
that Jill cooperate with him in fulfilling his desires,
but Jill may not wish to so cooperate. Jack in his
fantasy may envision satisfaction in coercing Jill to
cooperate, and may coerce Jill. Yet, society does not
always approve of such coercion, even though sub-cultures
may approve of such use of people and promote their own
disintegration.
Society may require people to have certain desires
only in reciprocal relationships; forbidding that they
ever be essentially self-referential. In that case
society may seek to coerce its members to fulfill the
collective desire that certain taboos be observed through
restraint which is coercive rather than self-referential.
Such coercion may not fulfill the collective fantasy out
of which it was born any more than Jack's coercion of Jill
will. In any case the desire that others desire in a
certain way is unlikely to be fulfilled through efforts to
manage their desires through coercion.
Desires which need to be essentially mutual for
fulfillment are unlikely to be fulfilled through coercion.
They are more likely to be fulfilled through actions
informed by fantasies of eliciting authentic desires which
are open and honest because they are free of coercion and
the fear of being vulnerable.
Desires may be elicited, but not managed. Management
leads to rebellion and clever counter-maneuvers, not to
successful control of desires. Dictators do not manage
the desires of those whom the subjugate. They just barely
manage the overt behavior. Their fulfillment should be a
lesson to all.
(c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
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