This-essay is a8412171.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %LOVE MUTUALITY AND POWER 841217 It is difficult for there to be genuine mutuality in a love relationship---if power is not shared mutually. If one has overall greater power than the other---then the one with the lesser power is prone to be the victim of coercion, and the one with the greater power is prone towards paternalism. Such tendencies persist even in the face of utter sincerity and the best of intentions. To pretend otherwise will only accentuate the tendencies. To acknowledge the tendencies is an essential step towards taking the steps necessary to maintain mutuality in a love relationship---in the face of situations which give greater amounts of some kinds of power to one as compared to the other. Power can not be given to people who are afraid to exercise it, it will not "take". People who do not want power can not freely accept it when it is offered. People who want power when it is not offered to them can create certain kinds of power through initiatives and assertion. Not all kinds of power can be created by such assertion and initiatives. Some kinds of power are created only by mutually fulfilling, giving and accepting. The power of love can not be created by the taking of love. The power to be creative can not be brought into being by taking it from others; although it can be nurtured by the giving and acceptance of gifts. The power of forgiveness is liberated when one person acknowledges a wrong; an essential step in creating the power of forgiveness. To refuse to acknowledge a wrong and to refuse to ask for forgiveness---is to claim that there has been no wrong; and so to continue a conflict. Participants then need to become aware of the ideals, value, principles, etc. which each participant seeks to affirm. Only then can there be mutual understanding of what each other stands for. Creating, giving and accepting balanced power are essential aspects of love which seeks justice with balanced power. Mutuality is not possible when unbalanced power seeks justice without love. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================
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