This-essay is a8112131.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %FEAR OF OTHERS' EMBARRASSMENT 811213 We usually fear the embarrassment of other persons, and tacitly agree with each other not to embarrass each other. People who fail to live by this agreement tend to be ostracized, and become alienated from communal collusions regarding what is: true, factual, proper, patriotic, intelligent, rational, logical, etc. We come to believe that we have a right not to be embarrassed by the behavior of other peoples; that laws and constitutional guarantees have been agreed to---which guarantee such rights to not being embarrassed. Such laws and guarantees are not stated explicitly, for to do so would be an invitation to destroy our comfortable collusions. The enforcement of the provisions of the agreements regarding embarrassment takes place via the ways in which we act when we are embarrassed. We do not like to feel responsible for other persons' embarrassment; their embarrassment makes us uncomfortable, and as an aversive response we seek to avoid it. Automatic negative reinforcement take place; we seek to avoid doing whatever leads to our embarrassment due to others' embarrassment. To be wise we must as individuals and cultures learn how to distinguish between wise behavior which occasions embarrassment, and foolish behavior which occasions embarrassment. The seat of embarrassment may reside in the embarrassed person, as well as in the person whose behavior ostensibly occasioned the embarrassment. It is not obvious to the immature where the responsibility for embarrassment should be placed. It is the immature who are most prone to embarrassment. Thus it is the immature who are most likely to set the tone for the process of negative reinforcement---and control of social behavior through the process of mutual embarrassment. Thus it is wise to seek ways to avoid letting the immature members of a society be the leaders of collusions against wise behavior which transcends immaturity. For the above reasons, civilizations which endure and give humane meaning to the lives of their members---find ways to promote maturity which transcends the collusions of the emotionally an intellectually immature: who are embarrassed by intellectual and emotional maturity and by the open and honest dialogue which builds such maturity. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================
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