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%PERCEPTUAL RIGHTS 800923
John has chosen to perceive Jack and Jill as doing
things which John finds disturbing. John, because of his
perceptions of what Jack and Jill are doing, feels he has
the right to intrude into the relationship between Jack
and Jill. John feels that his perception corresponds
uniquely to reality---and that Jack and Jill are involved
in an offensive relationship. John perceives the
offensive relationship as an objective reality, the
existence of which confers upon him certain rights. John
does not perceive Jack and Jill as having any right to be
participants in any mutually satisfying personal
relationship which they may choose. Yet, John feels he
has the right to perceive Jack and Jill in whatever way he
may choose---and on the basis of his perception acquire
rights to intrude.
Personal relationships are not objective realities,
and to regard them as such---occasions many violations of
personal relationships. It may be helpful for us to learn
to regard people as having rights to enter into mutually
satisfying personal relationships, and thus the right not
to be harassed regarding whatever friendships and
intimacies they may choose. The right of people to
intrude into personal relationships needs to be called
into question by the affirmation of people's rights to be
involved in mutually satisfying personal relationships.
John needs to learn respect Jack and Jill in their
relationship, to respect the relationship because they
have chosen it mutually, not because it conforms to any
expectations on the part of those who are not intimately
involved in the relationship.
It is impossible to realistically perceive a
subjective reality which is dependent upon sympathetic
commitment---when one stands away from the reality with a
judgmental attitude. John cannot realistically perceive
the nature of the personal relationship between Jack and
Jill---while he is not an intimate participant in the
relationship and not committed to it. John is not in a
position to pass judgment upon the relationship---when he
is not in a position to perceive it realistically. The
grounds for judgment cannot be acquired by somebody who is
outside a mutual personal relationship.
(c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty
(On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)
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