This-essay is a7912175.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %ESSENCE EXISTENCE EXPECTATION 791217 Personal expectations are rooted in perceptions of the essence of personal relationships. To some people the essence of a personal relationship abides in eternity; i.e., it transcends, and guides the development in time of the relationship. The essence of the relationship occasions hope for the fulfillment of the relationship. The hope nourishes anticipation which may understandably develop expectations, which if not fulfilled, may occasion bitter disappointments. Such disappointments may threaten the integrity of the relationship and call into question the perceived essence of the relationship. To some people the essence of a personal relationship abides in the spontaneous flow of give and take in day to day transactions. Spontaneity is essential to the life of the relationship. Routine, planning, habits, traditions, and expectations threaten the essence of such people's personal relationships. They do not want to feel boxed in, and resist patterns and expectations which they feel tend to box them in. To Jack the essence of a personal relationship abides in eternity, transcends, and guides the development in time of the relationship. To Jill the essence of a personal relationship abides in the spontaneous flow of give and take in day to day transactions. Jill is threatened by the patterns of Jack's life and his coercive plans and expectations. Jack is disappointed by Jill's failure to fulfill his expectations, and baffled by her aversion to plans. Jill withdraws from Jack the more he wants to include her in the plans of his life. The more Jack loves Jill the less she can accept his love. The more Jill leaves Jack free to be spontaneous to be himself the more Jack feels that Jill is indifferent toward him, because she shows no interest in including him in the patterns of her life. Their relationship is full of misinterpreted signals, intentions, desires, and disappointments. They do not have a common understanding of the nature of the essence of a love relationship. Their best efforts to understand each other are likely to fail until they enjoy a mutual understanding of what they consider to be the essence of a love relationship. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================Lines beginning with a percent sign are KEYWORDS for use in ESSAY-System Searches. Their terminal digits are dates of writing in the format @yymmdd#, where @ = a means 99, @ = b means 20, and # = is a within-date essay-count. Links to date-adjacent essays are near page top & bottom.
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