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%PARANOIA AND ALIENATION 790824
Jack did not enjoy affection as an infant, child, and
adolescent. He did not feel unconditionally accepted as a
person. Jack had to prove himself worthy of acceptance
through conformal behavior. Nobody seemed to care about
him as a person in his own right. He felt insignificant
in people's eyes because nobody was concerned about him
personally. Jack sought ways to become the focus of
attention.
Jack developed his own particular way to be the focus
of attention in his own world. He evolved a world view, a
way of seeing the world, which gave meaning to his life
and which nobody could take away from him. In the light
of his meaningful world view nobody could come up with
evidence which successfully challenged his world view. In
Jack's world view he discovered that he was the center of
everybody's concern. Everybody came to care about what he
was doing and his life became meaningful because everybody
care about him, rather than looked upon him with
indifference.
Jack discovered that everybody was intent on
persecuting him. He was so important in his world that
everybody's lives were centered about what he was doing,
thought, felt, desired, etc. They had nothing better to
do than to try to do him in. Such attention was very
meaningful to him and gave a focus to his life. He could
enter into relationships with other people by how he
responded to the attention which they gave to him. In
that dialogue his life took on meaning and vitality like
it had never had before. Such meaning and vitality were
far to be preferred to the life of indifference and
separation which he had had before. Its violence was to
be preferred to a life in which he had to violate his own
integrity to prove himself worthy of acceptance and
personal affirmation. Jack discovered a way in which to
perceive and relate to people with personal integrity.
Jack has moved to a secluded hospital ward where
doctors and nurses give him far more attention than he had
when he was an infant, child, or adolescent. He knows he
is important because people spend so much time trying to
do him in. The drama of the battle between him and the
doctors and nurses give meaning to his life.
(c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty
(On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)
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